Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
Chapter 64
Ella’s POV:
I don’t know how much time passes as silence fills the entire place.
Their baby.
I was their baby.
I was staring at the floor while my head was completely frozen in shock, unable to process or believe this piece of information that was dropped on me like a thunderstorm.
How the hell was I their baby? They never told me they had a baby after Kate. How could they let me be taken from them? How could they just let me go without searching for me?
My tears start falling automatically as several things begin to make sense. How cold and uncaring my father always was towards me. How he never treated me like his own kid or gave me any real attention. It’s because he wasn’t my real father. How he always got angry with me whenever I asked him about my mother, and wouldn’t show me her picture or tell me anything about her. I only got a name, Sara.
I laugh inwardly at the irony. Well, it least the name wasn’t a lie.
Every damn thing I had to go through wasn’t because I was cursed and had the worst luck in the world to be living in the Grey’s pack. It was intentional from the beginning. The lack of education, poverty, servitude, and finally, the physical and s3xual abuse.
It was all a part of a long thought-out revenge agenda. And I was the fvcking scapegoat.
“Ella, please talk to us,” joseph begged me as he knelt in front of me with tearful eyes and held both of my hands in his.
I looked at him in distraught with angry tears shining in my eyes; for the first time ever, as I asked in a shaky voice “Why did you let them take me from you?”
He shook his head in agony as he said, “I didn’t, I swear Ella. The baby d*ied right after birth. It never occurred to anyone that you were switched and taken away. Grey had spies within our pack, he knew everything happening, he planned everything from the start. I would have never let anyone take you from me, or hurt you while I was still breathing. You have no idea how much the truth has hurt and wrecked us,” he stops talking as a small sob shakes his entire body.
“Hurt you? Why would it hurt you? I was already dead to you, already mourned for, buried, and forgotten all about after a few weeks or maybe a few months. How many times have you thought about the baby you lost seventeen years ago? Dead or kidnapped, it doesn’t make any difference because I was forgotten either way. It shouldn’t hurt you because the daughter you had did d*ie seventeen years ago. I am not that baby, I was never allowed to be that baby. I was nothing to you. After all, you never held me in your arms, or even heard my first cry. You never rocked me to sleep, or stayed at my bedside when I was sick. You never saw me alive, you have no memory of me to even remember me by. I was never yours to begin with because I was his all along,” I didn’t know whether I was referring to the father who pretended to raise me or the master who sealed my fate before I was even born.
“Just like Klaus was raised by alpha Mathew from the second he was born. He is his real father, because he is the one who stayed with him his entire life, just like I will always be Ella Forbes, because that’s where I belonged from the second I was born.”
I try to pull my hands away from Joseph’s, but he holds on to them tightly as he pleads, “Don’t Ella. Please don’t shy away from us. We never forgot about you. You were always in our hearts and souls. We mourned your loss more than words can ever express, believe me. We are together now, we will make up for all the lost time together, all four of us.”
I shake my head at him in anger and shout, “You can’t! You can never make up for the lost time. Can you give me back the childhood I was supposed to experience, the childhood I never had?
Can you make up for all the times I had to work like an animal in that pack house from the break of dawn until midnight, when I was only ten years old, when I was supposed to be with you?
Can you make up for the constant humiliation and mistreatments I was subjected to every goddamn day? Can you make up for all the times I was desperate, longing so hopelessly for a hug or a k!ss, or even just a comforting touch, or a kind word?”
“Forget about all of that.. Those are nothing. Can you make up for the ten freaking months, that were passing me by as if they were decades, svcking, destroying, and ruining any shred of humanity left within me? Can you make up for the abuse? For the pain?
For the a*s*sault? For the physical and emotional r*pe I have been exposed to every goddamn night? For being f0rced into doing the most disgusting things; that no human being should be ever f0rced into, just to barely keep my dying soul alive? Can you make up for…”
“shhh enough… stop please, stop I’m begging you,” said Joseph in agony, his face contorted with so many intense emotions.
I couldn’t stop. I was boiling with an unending rage that was going to stop my heart if I didn’t let it all out.
I snatched my hands away from him, because I couldn’t bare to be touched or consoled anymore, not right this moment, not in my current condition. Nothing can put out the fire eating me alive from the inside.
I got up from the couch trembling with rage, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall, while Joseph stayed where he was on the ground, completely wrecked and emotional.
“See? Your heart can’t even withstand my words or comprehend what I have been through all these years. If you cannot bear to hear what my life has been like, how do you expect me to just move on and forget what happened like I never lived it? Grey vowed to make everyone miserable, but somehow, I ended up paying the highest price. You had each other, you, Sara, Kate, and Klaus. You had so many years together before she d*ied. You were all living together in complete bliss. You had twenty-four years’ worth of memories to get you through her loss, through her absence. So many happy, joyful memories that you can remember her by and be able to move on without breaking apart. You had each other to keep you stronger, to keep you sane. You were happy for years, while I didn’t get a single day of happiness. Who did I have all those years? No one! Not a single god damn person! Not a whiff of compassion or love, none!”
“Why? Why did I have to pay the highest price out of all of you? What was my sin? Why me?! Grey left me ruined in every way, he made sure of that. He made sure that even if I ended up with you by any miracle, I wouldn’t be able to move on. He took me from you, ruined my childhood, took away any chances of happiness or joy from my life, made me a servant, then made me a sl*ve, taking with it my innocence in the most monstrous way. Can you erase all of that from my memory? Can you make the nightmares I have every night; where I relive my abuse with all of its pain and humiliation like I was still there mind and soul and body, go away? Because only then will you be able to have your little baby back. But that will never happen. You can’t erase them, and you can’t make up for them. Not when I still live in them every god damn night”
I stormed off from the place as I couldn’t bear to say anymore. I was already spiraling out of control, already pushing away the closest people to me; the people who filled my heart with love when it has been deprived of it for seventeen years without even knowing that I was their daughter, already hurting them so deeply and blaming them for things that were beyond their control. My subconscious was aware that I was being so unfair and cruel to them, but my mouth couldn’t keep itself shut.
I went back to my bedroom, closed and locked the door, then collapsed on the floor, sobbing so hard and hurting beyond and past any human being could ever be able to tolerate and withstand.