Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
Chapter 31
Ella’s POV:
I was biting my nails hard as I dreaded the meeting I had with Joseph and alpha Klaus at three. My lunch sat at my dining table untouched as I did not have the appet*ite to eat.
I watched the clock get closer to three and felt myself getting closer to a ma*s*sive panic attack. I kept trying to breath in and out like Sara taught me to do whenever I felt myself losing my grip on my feelings. It wasn’t working very well. I kept trying to convince myself that I had nothing to be panicked about. It was just a meeting, and Joseph is going to be there with me the whole time. That wasn’t working very well either.
A sudden sharp pain pulled me out of my anxiety attack. One of the nails I was biting so hard into was bleeding and throbbing in pain.
“Dammit. Get it together Ella” I whispered to myself angrily.
I got up from the sofa and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I dried my face then pulled my hair into a high ponytail. I went to the closet to pick a workout outfit, since my training will start right after the meeting.
I ended up wearing a maroon high-waisted leggings and a long sleeve sports bra of the same color. The clothes were super tight on my body, they clung to me like a second skin. I felt so weird and almost exposed. All of my clothes that I used to wear before were a size or two larger. In addition, a small part of my stomach and back were visible where the bra and leggings ended before covering me up fully.
I kept looking for other workout clothes that weren’t that tight and revealing, but couldn’t find anything different. There were about ten other possible outfits, but they all had the same size and design. I sighed in frustration. It was out of my comfort zone to walk around dressed like this, but I had no other choice. I couldn’t exactly wear jeans to training.
As the clock hit three, I went out of my room and headed towards Joseph’s office on the fourth floor. Taking deep breaths with each step I took.
I knocked twice on the door and waited to be invited in.
“Come in,” alpha Klaus’s voice answered instead of Joseph’s.
sh*t, where the hell was Joseph then?
I closed my eyes briefly, and walked inside closing the door behind me.
Alpha Klaus was standing casually by the window looking outside with his arms crossed. He was also wearing workout clothes, black slim pants and sleeveless hooded black tank top. The tank top showed off his muscles and fitness. His shoulder-length ash blond hair was messy as usual.
I looked at Joseph’s desk and found it empty, confirming that we were alone.
I was standing next to the door frozen in place.
“Joseph went to the border line to retrieve the USB from Elliot, he will be here in a few minutes. You can sit if you want” he said firmly with his face still turned towards the window.
What the hell is a USB? I wondered to myself. I stayed frozen in my place, I was too tense to sit down.
After a minute or so, he turns his head and looks at me. I watch nervously as his eyes roam over my body slowly. I felt so self conscious by his stare, it made me want to cover myself up with anything.
After a few minutes of him staring at me intently, “You have nothing to be scared of, Ella. I will continue to hold my end of the deal to stay away from you, as soon as you identify your attacker” he said gently.
I didn’t say anything to him. Staying quiet was the safest thing for me right now. I avoided looking at him and focused on the carpet that was covering most of the office.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asks curiously.
No, you can’t.
That’s what I wanted to say, but couldn’t. I looked up at him and saw him still staring at me intently. I nodded slightly.
He started walking towards me slowly “If I didn’t hear you that night, in the back yard when you confessed everything, were you ever going to tell me the truth about your father?”
It took me a while to answer. His question had caught me off guard. It was something I never thought about before, since he uncovered the truth immediately after I connected things together.
I took a few steps towards him, because I didn’t want to be trapped against the wall if he kept walking to me.
“If you had no way of confirming his ident*ity, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. After all, everyone involved was already dead, and I had nothing to do with what happened. But since you were going to identify him eventually, I would have told you everything as soon as I could gather my courage” I said honestly. I had no reason to lie about my answer.
He raised his eyebrows at my response. We were standing close to each other now, face to face. I tried to keep my breathing steady. The smart move would have been to stand as far away from him as I possibly can, but I didn’t want to appear terrified. I didn’t want him to know just how much he scares the crap out of me.
“You would have let me wage wars with other packs looking for my family’s murderer elsewhere, when you knew the truth?”
I shook my head “No, I would never let you spill innocent blood just to protect myself. I would have come clean about everything as soon as I heard you were waging another war to avenge your family”
He seemed to consider my answer, whether it was an answer he liked or not, didn’t really matter to me.
“Can I ask you a question in return?” I asked and almost instantly regretted opening my mouth. I should have just let the conversation end at that. But like an idiot, I couldn’t control myself.
“Sure,” he said with amusem*nt in his tone.
“If I never tried to run away from the pack that night, if you never saw me in the forest, never punished me or even met me at all. If I never realized that you were seeking revenge on my father. Would you still have treated me the same way after uncovering the truth?”
The question rattled him, I could tell from his face.
“The way I treated you was wrong from the beginning, public punishment included. I wasn’t acting like myself, if I could take it all back, trust me, I would do it in a heartbeat” he said sincerely.
I wasn’t acting like myself? That’s his f*uc*king excuse for putting me through hell?
After a few minutes of him staring at me intently, “You have nothing to be scared of, Ella. I will continue to hold my end of the deal to stay away from you, as soon as you identify your attacker” he said gently.
I couldn’t control the bitter, sarcastic smile that escaped from me.
He frowned and said tightly “You don’t believe me?”
“Not in the slightest” I said defiantly.
“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I regretted what I did?” he asked harshly.
“When exactly did you start to feel that regret? I’ll tell you when, it was after you found out I was abused, not a moment before. That is not regret, alpha, that is just pity”
I should have probably stopped right there so I don’t risk my life even further, but I was on a roll now. The feelings I kept bottled up inside of me were finally exploding in front of him. Everything I wanted to say to him; but was too afraid, came out of my mouth at that moment, I couldn’t control myself anymore.
“If you never found out about my abuse or if I was never abused in the first place, it wouldn’t have changed your mind then, because pity was the only reason that made you stop. If I wasn’t abused then by alpha Grey, I would be abused now by you”
“Even after you swore up and down that you wouldn’t hurt me or punish me because you are regretful, didn’t you volunteer yourself to train me? Joseph told me that it gets brutal, that I will be bruised all the time from training. You just couldn’t miss that chance, could you? But even though I said no, it doesn’t really matter, you can still hurt me in other ways. I already know how much damage you can do with a whip. As for the r@pe…”
He cuts me off as he pushes me roughly, I hit the wall behind me and gasp involuntarily. He smacks his hands so hard against the wall between my head trapping me, I flinched and felt that smack shake me to my c0re. I definitely pissed him off, deeply judging by the growl coming out of him. I just mouthed off at him, giving him a hell of a reason to punish me for disrespect. But even if he did punish me, it will be worth it, knowing just how much my words hurt him. It was just a fraction of the pain he made me go through, but still it was enough for me.
He leans closer to me; his face inches from mine, and says coldly and very slowly as if each word tested his self-control “Don’t you dare say this to me again or think about completing that sentence, I am nothing like that bastard Grey”
“Pain and agony will be the only thing you feel from now on, I promise you. You will be the one paying for your father’s betrayal” I spat his own words back at him “What exactly did you mean when you said those things to me, I’m curious. How else were you going to make me pay? You’re right, you’re nothing like him, you are much worse. He did all these horrible things to me, but never alpha-commanded me, not once”
It’s official. I have a death wish. I keep mouthing off at him like that, he will eventually hurt me for sure. What the hell is wrong with me? Did I want him to hurt me? Did I miss the pain of being punished?
He closed his eyes briefly then reopened them. I saw raw hurt in them. He opened his mouth and whatever he was about to say got interrupted by Joseph entering the office at that moment.