Forged In The Flames By Karima Sa’ad Usman
Chapter 51 Contemplating (Aliana’s POV)
I had never been so scared in my life. My heart was thumping while I walked towards Nikolas’ room. I dreaded how he would react to my request. I wished it was a lot simpler than this. I fought my tears and tried to compose myself.
I entered the room and sat to think of how I would table the matter before Nikolas. Since he took over the pack, I had dared not discuss my father with him. After speaking to Isabelle, I realised he had separated his dealings with me from my father.
It was easy because I did not get involved with how he ran the place or treated my people. I was on my best behaviour and did my best to please so my people would have an easy life.
I did not plan to fall in love and hope for a future with him, it all happened in the process, and we have been building our relationship gradually. I was worried that discussing this issue with Nikolas would cause a setback. He wasn’t the type to be driven by emotions. His love for me would not make him bend where my father was concerned. I knew I was in trouble. It would be wrong to sit in silence while my father wasted away.
“We have to talk to him about it,” Raven, my wolf, said while I sat on the couch to think of what to do.
“Our mother is gone; we can’t afford to lose father too,” She said, and tears streamed down my cheek because she was right. If I hold my tongue and refuse to speak out of fear and my father dies in the process, I will forever blame myself and hate myself for my cowardice. I would also harbour resentment towards Nikolas and not feel the same anymore. If I dared to speak to him about it, he might take offence and end our relationship. Other than his scent, nothing is connecting us. His mother would support and help him with his resolve, and that would be it. My father would still be worked to death.
I might not blame myself in that scenario, but I would still be broken.
The best case was that he listens and sees reason, and that scenario was the least likely.
Nikolas’s hatred ran deep, and meeting Isabelle, I could see that it was in his blood to hate so deeply.
He would not let my father off the hook.
Qusack was his closest friend and had his back always. If he could decide not to listen to Qusack, then who was I to talk to him about it?
The dilemma was so profound that all I could do was weep.
I remembered the image of my father lying on the bed and wondered how much more he could take before he finally gave up. He was at his best every Saturday, hiding his problems from me. Today I saw him in his true condition, and it broke my heart.
I cried for a while and soon decided to be courageous.
I planned to talk to Nikolas about it. If he ends our relationship because of it, I will adjust and move on.
I could not remain silent, fearing that he would break my heart. My father’s life was more important than my heart’s desires. If my father dies, then nothing will matter. Nikolas’s plan to change the law would mean nothing to me because I would have no one. There was no guarantee we would end up together. With Isabelle in the picture, anything could happen.
The whole issue made me feel sickly, and I rushed to the bathroom to throw up and shower.
That would be the second time I would be throwing up. I began to suspect I might have caught something. Visiting the werewolf hospital was important. I knew the health care system was substandard, but they should be able to run a simple blood test to determine what was wrong with me. I took a cold shower to cool down.
Ania and Lisa stayed briefly in town. They returned two hours after I had left them. They came to my room with food. None of them was chatty because they knew my predicament.
Ania placed the food tray on the table and sat beside me on the couch, where I had been since I showered. I had sat there waiting for Nikolas to return. I knew I wouldn’t see him until nighttime, but I sat there gathering the courage I would need.
“How will you handle the situation?’’ Ania asked me, looking concerned. Lisa was plating the food, and I told her not to. The smell bothered me, but I could not tell her that. I know they had prepared the meal with love. It would be insensitive of me to tell them the food stunk. I told her I had no appetite, so she quietly put it away.
“I do not know what to do,” I answered Ania, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“I am afraid. Since I have been with him, I dared not bring up my father. I have been suffering in silence. I am not happy about what he is facing, but this is just too much,” I said, and she held me so I could cry.
I had just spoken my truth. I had been suffering in silence since Nikolas took charge. He had been cruel to my father, never letting up. He went easy on others but ensured my father and his officers paid dearly.
I dared not bring it up for fear that he might revoke all privileges. I also did not want it to seem like I was trying to exploit our relationship and manipulate him.
“Alpha might be cross if you bring it up, especially now that you know his reasons for his hatred,” Lisa said, and I nodded.
She was right.
It would have been easier if he wasn’t Mathia’s son. I would have braved it, but knowing who he was and what he believed made it more complicated.
“What would you do if the conversation did not go well,” Lisa said, and I understood her reasons for asking. It was always wise to brace up for the worst outcome to be prepared.
“I do not know,” I said, wiping my tears.
“I doubt I would have any option at the end. He has the upper hand,” I said, and she bowed.
“I can’t tell you to be silent and wait and see. If your father’s case worsens, you won’t forgive yourself. Still, I can’t tell you to speak up, Aliana, knowing how Alpha can sometimes be. He might take it as if you want to control him. Even his mother, whom he loved so much and carried about for nineteen years, dared not control him. I am worried about your predicament, Aliana,” Lisa said, and Ania just held me.
“Know that you will have our support no matter what. If Alpha truly loves you, he should be able to let go of his grudge to make you happy,” Ania said; I know she was telling the truth, but I had come to understand that Nikolas wasn’t the type to be controlled by his emotions. He knew how to separate things. Talking to him would be a huge risk.
Soon they left me alone. I sat on the couch, and when sleep finally came, I gave in.
I felt someone carrying me, and my eyes opened gradually. I was In Nikolas’s arms, and he was about to place me on the bed. He looked at me and smiled.
“You fell asleep on the couch.” He teased me and placed me on the bed. I managed a weak smile and sat up.
I could see that he had showered because his hair was w*et, and he was wearing only his shorts.
“How was your day?” I managed, and he sighed.
“Hectic. The military quarters in Timber are finished.” He said, and I smiled.
“You must be overjoyed,” I said, and he nodded. “Now, we have a training facility for warriors and a place to build weapons. There are some tools I would need to import from Hill. I just hoped the new trade deal I am going into with them would go well,” He said, sounding happy.
Food was on the table, and I realised Ania and Lisa must have served the food while I was asleep. It did not smell right, but I did not speak about it.
“Come on, the food will get cold,” He said, and I shook my head.
“I overate in the afternoon,” I lied, and he frowned.
“Were you worried we would have dinner with my mother tonight?” He asked, and I shook my head.
It was a plausible reason, and I would have laughed under different circumstances, but I couldn’t. I was preoccupied with my father’s predicament and wanted to handle my strange illness alone.
“I will have to increase the working hours for the builders in Riverhead. I think they are lacking behind. The builders in Timber started their project at the same time as those in Riverhead. However, they have finished already, and the project here is still ongoing. I relaxed the laws because of you, but it seems some of them are lazy about it,” He said and forked food into his mouth.
I could not speak because my father was one of the builders in Riverhead. I did not know if this was the right time to speak, but I doubted if there ever would be the right time.
“I want to discuss something with you,” I said, leaving the bed. He tried to look at me from where he sat on the couch, and I walked toward him.
“What is it, Little wolf?” he asked with a smile.
My heart was beating, and I felt beads of sweat on my forehead. I was afraid that this would be it. I will cross the line tonight, and we will go back to the beginning.
The smell of the food did not help matters either, but my empty stomach assured me that I would not throw up.
“Here we go,” Raven said in my head. I could feel her apprehension too. It would s*uck to say goodbye to what we have.