Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder by Alice Knightsky
Chapter 70 Her Letter
“Ethan!” Georgia burst into my room.
I took a sip of whisky and looked up. “I thought you were going back to Drogomor.”
“What I do is none of your business! Talon told me- how much did you f’cking drink?”
“Do you need me for anything?”
“I need you to stop all the crap you’re doing, okay?” she said bluntly. “There’s a war out there, and you…”
“I what? I didn’t miss any report, I didn’t make any irrational decisions. I’ve been handling every responsibility just fine. So would you people just leave me alone?!”
She looked at me quietly for a moment.
I thought she would curse, but instead, she said calmly, “Ethan, she’s gone. Just let her go peacefully.” My narrowed eyes snapped open. Fury rushed through me. Not at her, but at myself.
“What do you know?! Enough!” I roared.
She would never understand. I was the cause of Rosalie’s death. How could I let go of that?!
Georgia sneered. “I know that she’s gone and you need to move on! Look at you-what a f’cking mess you are!”
“Watch how you speak, Georgia.” I growled in my alcohol -addled state of mind and glared at her with fury.
“Or what? Are you going to ship us away again, like you did all those years ago?” she raged. “Or like how you took a vow to the Goddess and abandoned your mate sense when you turned twenty-one?!”
I noticed that her eyes were red.
“Did any of that f*cking help at all, Ethan? No, it didn’t! If you hadn’t sent us away, Soren would still be here today! If you hadn’t abandoned your mate sense, you might have realized how important Rosalie was…”
Was she about to cry? I couldn’t remember the last time I saw my sister like this…
I couldn’t argue with her at all. I felt like my brain was filled with fog; I couldn’t reason through anything right now.
The choices I had made… were they all wrong?
My head hurt, and I reached for the amber liquor again.
But Georgia was faster than me. She snatched the glass from my hand and finished her speech: “So f’cking put yourself together, Ethan, and let your past go!”
I looked her in the eyes for a moment, then looked away.
“She hated me…” I murmured- to myself, and maybe to Georgia. That seemed to take her by surprise.
“What are you talking about?! You know Rosalie. Do you think she would ever say that?”
I shook my head. “But she must have,” I said. I looked at the envelope on the table. It was still sealed.
Georgia looked at me in disbelief. “You still haven’t read it?!”
Then she straightened herself back up and sneered. “If that’s what you think, then you never actually knew her, you coward!”
The whole castle was hushed and dark. I had not lit a lamp, but the moon filled my room with a soft, ghostly light. I had succeeded in drinking myself into a stupor, but I’d run out of whisky, and it was starting to wear off. Sleep still evaded me.
The envelope lay on the table, and my eyes never left it.
I stared at Rosalie’s familiar handwriting. I could almost smell her faint scent coming off of it. What did she write?
Probably hateful words telling me what a monster I was?
No, Georgia was probably right, Rosalie was too sweet to do that.
At last, after the hours-long standoff, I reached for the letter. My fingers trembled slightly as I picked it up.
With a deep breath, I ripped the envelope open, and began to read.
“My Dear Ethan,
Please allow me to call you so.
When you open this letter, is your brow furrowed as usual? You probably never knew, but I have kissed your brow secretly while you were asleep next to me so many times.
Like all she-wolves, I prayed to the Moon Goddess that she would bless me with a mate who cherished me, protected me, and took all the miseries of life away from me. Even if he wasn’t tall or handsome, that wouldn’t matter.
Even in my wildest dreams, I never thought I would meet you. Maybe it sounds silly, but you are more than ten thousand times what I expected.
I fell in love at the first sight of you.
I remember that night when I arrived at your pack, the rain pouring down; I remember your scent when you first approached me; I remember the cold hospital light reflecting off your cufflinks.
Anything about you, I remember.
You may think me silly. My love for you was so humble that it dared not make itself known.
I love your cold tones, your sleeping face, and even your angry looks. I love all that you gave me. The months I spent with you were the happiest ones of my life.
However, no matter how beautiful the dream was, it was still a dream. I had to wake up, no matter how unwilling I was.
You are a powerful Alpha- you have an imminent war and you have your people to protect.
Even though my company may have brought you a little comfort in the past, now my presence, I’m afraid, has become more and more of a burden to you.
My heart aches whenever I see your frown.
I love you, and I don’t want to see you torn between me and the alliance.
If this decision is difficult for you, then let me be the one to take the needed action. My body may be gone, but my love will always be with you. Do not look for us. Our child and I will be with the Moon Goddess, embraced by eternal peace.
And you, my dear Ethan… Please stay strong and be happy.
This is my last and only request of you.
-Rosalie”
As I finished her letter, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting her words settle over me, letting them sink into my soul.
Did she not hate me? Did she… love me?
How could I bear the thought that I was the one who pushed her to her death?
I traced her writing with my finger, refusing to acknowledge the tears that threatened to fall.
I raised the letter to my lips and held it there, wishing it was her lips I was kissing, before I slid it back into the envelope and put it back inside of my pocket.
“I will do what you asked, Rosalie,” I whispered. “I promise.”
I didn’t remember how long I sat there. Finally, with Rosalie’s letter securely back in my pocket, I went back to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. I didn’t even bother to change my clothes.
She needed me to be a good Alpha, and I would be.
Even though I had all of the evidence in the world that she was gone, the peace of hearing her answer began to settle over me, and tears stung my eyes as I allowed myself to grieve her. I allowed myself to mourn the loss of such a beautiful woman and the child I would never know, the child we had made together.
Eventually, I fell asleep, and as I slumbered, I saw her face.
She wasn’t standing on the cliff this time. Instead, she was in the middle of a beautiful flower garden, wearing a white flowing gown and a crown of daisies around her head. She was holding our baby swaddled in her arms.
“Don’t worry, Ethan,” she told me. “Everything will be all right now. I love you.”
She lifted her hand and touched my face, and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt calm. When I awoke, sometime later, my eyes were crusty from tears. This was foreign to me. Crying was not something I did.
I wiped at them and lay there, staring at the ceiling.
“Rosalie is gone,” I murmured, trying to accept it.
Despite all of the evidence, it still didn’t seem real. And then, I felt a tug- a pull unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
It started like a warmth deep down in my abdomen, as if something in the far distance were tugging on me, pulling gently toward it. It was unsettling in a way that I couldn’t describe.
I found myself placing my hand over my abdomen the same way I’d seen Rosalie do many times.
Deciding I’d had enough of the odd experience, I got up from the bed and headed to the shower. It was still early, but
I’d finally slept for once, uninterrupted, and I was ready to start my day.
It was the first day of the rest of my life- where I’d have to accept that Rosalie was gone.