Chapter 89
We were both in the wrong here, I knew that. We had burnt ourselves out with this investigation the last few months, spreading our free time too thin with all the additional work it brought us. It was no surprise really that we were both now in each other’s faces the second that war was finally at our doorstep. It was a cocktail for short fuses and high tempers. Which was exactly why the best decision here was for us to walk away before saying something else we’d regret.
In truth though, I was sure neither choice presented was the best decision here. Both paths ahead had their own obstacles, their own pros and cons. And whilst it felt as though Benjamin’s opinion on this right now seemed off, I had to give him credit where it was due. If it hadn’t been for his support over these last few months, I would have been worse off and probably done something far more drastic already by now. In a way, I owed him.
Which was why I wanted him on my side for this decision. After all the time and effort we’d put in, it was now just as much Benjamin’s choice as it was mine since it was technically his life on the line as well. He’d lied about my involvement and had been helping me during all of this mess. If he was found to have been withholding information, I was sure Leo would not be pleased.
“…I’m sorry, too,” I mumbled. “It’s not like I want to do this, Benjamin. Just… trust me. You’ll have my support with whatever happens afterwards, I promise.”
He sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. “Winona… that’s not…
Yep. Okay, sure. Thank you.”
“It’s going to be okay,” I said with a small smile. “Maybe we’ll catch Jonathon tomorrow and be dragging his ass into that meeting instead.”
“Hopefully.”
We stood facing each other, neither of us moving. I could see on his face that he looked as though he wasn’t exactly pleased with the outcome, but I was happy that he seemed to be on board at least for now.
“Alright, I should probably head off then,” I said, motioning towards the car. “I’ll drop you off at the packhouse on the way if you want.””
“Where are you going?” he asked, starting to walk with me.
There wasn’t much time left but I knew exactly where I needed to go next. Only it wasn’t somewhere I wanted to bring Benjamin.
“…I’m off to go prepare for the worst-case scenario,” I replied.
Not long after that, I found myself walking down a cold hallway, my feet leaving an echo as I went. I’d come here frequently enough that I was now familiar with these walls, but their contents had continued to be a source of pain for me these last few months.
Outside a door stood James, positioned on guard duty. He was the warrior who had escorted me from my cell to the trial grounds in my previous timeline. James barely knew me in
this life when compared to the last but my respect for him had remained. Those last moments he’d gifted me with my father had been precious. Although it did feel almost surreal to see that he would be the warrior on duty today given the
circumstances.
“Beta heir,” he greeted me, inclining his head slightly in
respect.
I nodded back in acknowledgement. “James. How is the prisoner today?”
“Same as always.”
He didn’t say anything further and instead opened the door, accompanying me inside.
As soon as the room beyond came into sight, my eyes immediately darted around, searching until they fell on a pair of familiar gold ones staring right back at me. He was seated at a small table that had been set up to the side.
My first instinct was to run to him, nestle my head into his neck, and wish for the thousandth time that this wasn’t real… but I couldn’t. Not here, not today, and definitely not over the last few months, had I been able to do anything remotely close to that. We were forced to strict professionalism due to the ever-present eyes of guards watching.
“Bash, how are you?” I asked stiffly.
It had taken me a moment to find my voice, my sense of guilt always hitting me hard whenever I got to see him. He hadn’t hinted at any complaints even once since coming here but I knew it had to be hard. I could see the circles forming under his eyes and how he’d lost a little bit of weight. It was all signs
of him paying a price he hadn’t signed up for.
“I’m well, thanks,” he replied. “It’s good to see you.”
Hearing his voice almost made me lose my composure. I could see in his eyes what he was really telling me and it only made things so much harder.
I cleared my throat and tried to refocus. “You too.”
I’d come here with every intention of telling him the news of the war conditions proposed by the Black Alder but, seeing him now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He would know what that meant, what two paths would potentially be waiting for me now. But, more importantly, he would know that this was goodbye. Regardless of how it went, tomorrow Bash would be free. I’d make sure of it.
en
“I umm… I just wanted to check in and make sure you’re still hanging in there,” I half lied, taking a seat at the table opposite him. “Are they treating you okay?”
He shrugged. “Can’t complain. Since being upgraded to the larger room it at least feels a little less… prison-y. Kind of feels more like home arrest now… if my home was a white cell with uncomfortable furniture.”
My lip twitched slightly but I couldn’t bring myself to give him a smile at his attempt at humour.
We were quiet for some time, neither of us knowing what to say. I couldn’t speak freely with him and yet there was so
much I wanted to speak about. It was torture. He was right there in front of me, within arm’s length, and I couldn’t even
touch him.
“…I’m sorry,” I mouthed to Bash silently. James was at the door within listening range but my back was facing him.
And though I knew Bash couldn’t hear me, I hoped desperately that he saw just how sincerely I meant that. How much weight I really meant behind those words.
He looked at me with concern, as if he was sensing exactly what I was feeling, and inside I could feel that pit of guilt clench. Everything was becoming too much.
“Well… I’m glad you’re doing okay,” I said, no longer having the strength for this anymore. I felt overwhelmed, like I couldn’t breathe. “I should be going… I’ll come by to check on you again… when I can.”
I turned my face and was about to stand up when his hand suddenly shot out, clasping my wrist to pause me.
“Wait,” he said.
