Chapter 83
I knew he wouldn’t actually do it, not here and definitely not today, but the excitement it caused was involuntary. That feeling of knowing it was so wrong that it made it feel even better; as if tempting fate.
I felt his hand creep up under the fabric of his shirt I wore, working its way along my waist and upwards towards my chest. These feelings he gave me, this… intense… desire to be close to him, as if he were a force of nature pulling me in via gravity… It was intoxicating. The more he was near me, the more he touched me, the more I felt my addiction to him increasing.
And so, when he proceeded to take me just as he had the morning prior, forcing my body to feel unimaginable highs, I knew I was only falling down a rabbit hole I should have walked away from.
…And yet, when we were completely exhausted once more, wrapped in each other’s arms, I couldn’t help but want more.
“If you could be anywhere…,” Bash asked softly afterwards, holding me against him, “doing anything at all right now in a perfect world, where would you be? What would you be doing?”
It was such a strange question. There was no such thing as a perfect world, just one where death was lurking around every
corner.
“…I’ve never thought about it…,” I said slowly.
“Isn’t there anything you’ve always wished you could do but couldn’t? You’ve lived two lives but it feels like you’ve barely lived for yourself from what you’ve told me.”
I paused to think. What would I want to be doing…?
And, after another few moments, I knew.
“…Nothing,” I finally answered. “I would be doing absolutely nothing and have nothing I needed to do. I would be living as far away as possible from the pack and all associated responsibilities. I would be living a quiet life where no one knew me or was looking for me… and where I wouldn’t need to worry about abandoning the people I care for because there would be no impending doom or warrant over my head for treason.”
He nodded his head thoughtfully as he took it all in. “Living in a house? Whereabouts?”
I could picture it clearly now, a small smile forming on my lips as I envisioned it. “In the woods. A small house just big enough for me that no one would find. I’d be sure to spread rumours of a witch living there to scare off any wandering strays who might think to come looking.”
“Just big enough for you? No partner?” he asked, hinting at the fact I hadn’t included him.
I laughed. “You want to join me in my little cottage? I thought you’d be too busy in this alternate reality, living up a more exciting life. Why bother entertaining a forest witch?”
“I could maybe get behind the idea if it meant I got you to myself. In this world maybe no one will come looking for me too. I don’t exactly enjoy the responsibilities involved with this
“…I should probably tell the house planner to build some extra rooms then. I’ll definitely need the extra space if it means putting up with you twenty-four seven.”
“If we ever ended up having kids then the extra space is probably a good idea.”
Instantly I felt sick, the unwelcome reminder assaulting me over something I’d become uncertain about.
“Bash…,” I started hesitantly, unable to meet his eyes. “I need to tell you… I’m not sure… I… I-.”
His arms tightened around me and he quickly kissed my forehead to interrupt me. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain. I already had a feeling based on the things you told me about Isabella. There are other options though if we really wanted… or maybe I’ll decide not to share you with a bunch of ungrateful pups.”
I swallowed back at the tears stinging in my eyes before nodding my head, grateful he was so understanding. But I didn’t have the heart to tell him yet about my suspicions. Suspicions I’d been thinking for a while now regarding a certain dead rogue doctor in a cave. However, if it turned out to be irrelevant then I didn’t want to give him false hope prematurely… and besides, it was way too soon to be thinking of anything like that. We shouldn’t even be together right now, let alone thinking of possibly having a family one day.
“What about you…?” I finally asked after a few moments of silence. “If you could be doing anything right now in a perfect world, what would you be doing?”
“What would I be doing…?” he repeated as he thought. “…You. I’d be doing you in your little forest cottage.”
I sighed, tsk-ing at his response. “Not allowed. I want to hear your own answer.”
He laughed for a bit before finally replying. “Hmmm… maybe lounging around on the couch at home without constantly being interrupted for work. My mum would be cooking one of her amazing meals whilst my father talked to me about something mundane.”
“Your mum cooks?” I asked, surprised that a Luna would be doing something like that.
“Yes,” he said, chuckling at my reaction. “She enjoys it as a hobby when she’s not too busy.”
It was smart of her to find an outlet like that given how busy a Luna’s life could be. My time had always been spent reading strategies, working, or doing something for Benjamin.
“…Sounds like you’re all really close.”
He nodded. “Extremely. Not just me though, but the entire Black Alder. We’re all family there.”
It gave me more understanding as to why Bash retaliated so relentlessly after Benjamin killed his father in the past. He loved him more than just out of respect for being his Alpha. I highly doubted Benjamin would have cared as much if Leo was killed; their relationship had always come across as very… formal.
But it was information that helped give a good holistic view of the war between Bash and Benjamin. Benjamin’s strength and
power had always been his edge in the war, capable of incredible feats that still impressed me to this day. And then there was Bash, still pretty strong, but his edge had been in his numbers with the unwavering support of his pack. The Black Alder moved as one lethal unit with complete loyalty. With Bash’s explanation, it sounded as though Tobias, Bash’s father, was greatly beloved, aligning that idea of
unquestionable support.
It was Bash’s greatest weakness in the end though. I had researched their previous battles with the Lock Heart thoroughly and found that most of the stalemates occurred when the Black Alder had enough time to prepare and organise warriors. It was then just a matter of making a plan to separate the bulk of the pack from Bash, allowing for Benjamin to finish the job.
I worked out their communication route quickly enough and had their encrypted messages intercepted and decoded within the week. So when they finally had their full attention on a battle we’d set up as a diversion, I created a fake letter informing them of an ambush to the west and made sure to give key information regarding Benjamin’s absence. It forced him to head out with minimal supporting warriors and a sense of false security… only to be met face-to-face with Benjamin waiting for him there, thirsty for victory.
“What are you thinking about?” Bash suddenly asked, snapping me out of my deep thoughts with a jump.
I stared up with wide eyes to meet his, willing my heart to stop racing from the small scare. “Nothing. I just uhh… was just thinking about how easily things change.”
“Are you sure? You look like-”
He didn’t finish his sentence though as he abruptly froze up instead, turning his head to the side as if listening to
something.
“What is it.”
“Shhh,” he hushed, continuing to focus. He sat up as he intently listened, poised as if ready to move.
It was silent for the longest few seconds of my life before he finally reacted.
“…Fuck,” he hissed as he started looking around the room frantically, searching for something. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… Winona….”
He turned as if to tell me something but, when his eyes finally rested back to meet mine, they just softened instead.
It wasn’t out of relaxation though. No, it felt more like defeat.
“…I’m so sorry, Winona,” was all he said quietly.
“Sorry’-?.”
But I didn’t get to ask him what was happening as the bedroom door then suddenly burst open…
And Benjamin stood at the doorway.
In the background, I could hear as several other footsteps busily occupied the wooden floorboards within the rest of the house, but it was Benjamin who I was most concerned with.
He stared at me in complete shock as none of us moved. It was as if time itself was frozen.
All until Benjamin’s voice finally spoke out, breaking us all from the spell.
“…Winona?” he asked softly, confused. His words were so quiet it was almost a whisper.
And instantly, a waking nightmare ensued.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Benjamin frantically whispered. “Do you have any idea how much shit you’ll get into for this?”
In an involuntary reaction, I quickly pulled the blanket up over my chest to hide myself even though I wasn’t naked. And yet at the same time, I’d never felt more exposed.
There had been no time to react, no time to hide. I knew what Bash had been desperately looking for now; an escape. But it would have been futile. There wasn’t enough time to cover my scent and the window had outside privacy panels preventing me from squeezing through. Bash must have realised the same thing. All he could do was apologise for the fact that we were now in this situation.
“We’ve found it!” I heard a voice yell from somewhere in the
