Chapter 79
‘I killed you,’ I whispered in my head. ‘You did nothing wrong and I killed you.’
“Ahh…,” was the only sound that left me.
I was fairly certain that telling him that information didn’t exactly scream that he could trust me; a vital part of any possible relationship to start. Would it be wrong of me to keep it a secret? It seemed like such an unnecessary gamble to ruin something that didn’t need to be tarnished so quickly.
“…Winona?” he prompted.
“I’m trying to remember,” I lied.
I could see it now… his eyes changing to become wary, unsure of who I was. His death was just the start of a list of names whose lives I had ended up claiming. Would he see me as a murderer?
I swallowed back my hesitance and cleared my throat. If I was willing to finally put the past behind me then there was no reason to ruin my future because of it.
“No,” I eventually answered. “I… can’t recall ever having met you. I was never running late in the library that day since there was no reason for me to be so distracted. And because I wasn’t running late, I never accidentally collided with you in the hallway… therefore we never met to my knowledge.”
It wasn’t necessarily a lie. We technically had never met, it’s just that I’d managed to orchestrate his entire demise from
the comfort of my own home.
“Ah, I see…,” he said in thought before smiling. “Man, your life really was tragic, aye?”
I exhaled in relief disguised as a laugh. “I’m sure your ego kept you company adequately enough.”
We continued to chat whilst we walked and I did my best to explain everything as best I could; though purposely remained vague in regards to any of my less pleasant actions or his death. I told him about my life from where it diverted; about the Goddess, Ava, my visions, and about Isabella… or what I thought I knew about Isabella at least.
“It all weirdly explains a lot of the things that used to confuse me about you…,” he said as we walked across the threshold of where he was staying.
Both of us had instinctively walked back to his place without needing to confirm where we wanted to go. I certainly didn’t feel up to facing my parents right now.
“…And why you were blaming yourself about Ava,” he continued, closing the door behind us.
A pit of guilt churned in my stomach. “I couldn’t save her the second time. I don’t know why I didn’t see it in a vision like before.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” he said as he stepped closer. “You can’t blame yourself for not knowing… and you especially can’t blame yourself for some random power thing you’ve don’t have control over.”
I sighed, closing my eyes a little in relief. It felt nice to hear
those words from someone who knew the full picture. It made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Here was someone who wasn’t required by my birth to care for me, and they were telling me I wasn’t to blame. And I loved my father, don’t get me wrong, but nothing he could’ve said would have made me feel quite the same since Bash had no real obligation to me.
After a few moments passed though, I became painfully aware that both of us were standing silently at his door, neither of us moving.
“Okay,” I finally said, breaking the silence. “I should probably get some sleep since it’s been a rough night. Is it okay if I crash on your couch-.”
I didn’t get to finish my request though because his lips were then suddenly on mine, hungrily drinking me in.
…And miraculously, I wasn’t so tired anymore.
I instantly dropped the dagger from my hand, letting it fall to the ground with a clunk, and reached up to grab his shoulders, pulling him towards me.
A low growl in approval sounded from his throat that did all kinds of inexplicable things to my insides, and he quickly hoisted me up against the wall, my legs wrapping around his waist as if they’d always belonged there. His hands were gripped firmly around my thighs as he’d positioned himself perfectly between them and I could feel his desire as he -pressed himself against me.
“Fuck, Winona,” he groaned as he kissed me along my neck. “Do you have any idea how crazy you make me? How long I’ve wanted to do this?”
I had every mind to reply but honestly, at that point, I wanted nothing more than for him to just continue touching me everywhere, to continue making me feel more of him against
The only reply I managed in the end was more of a
whimpering of his name as my back arched inwards to meet his body. Something that was met with only more kissing and a grunt of his own.
I felt his hand travel under the hem of my dress and try to work its way up but my clothes were too tight around the chest area, restricting any more access.
“Too many clothes,” he grumbled, feeling around my back until he touched the zipper.
He didn’t pull it down though, his hand pausing for a moment as if in thought, and instead he threw me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, making it seem as though I weighed absolutely nothing.
“Bash!” I squealed in surprise, unable to stop my giggling. “Put me down! I can walk!”
“No,” he replied as he began walking towards what was probably the bedroom. “You have a habit of storming away whenever I finally get to kiss you. This is just insurance.”
I kept laughing even though I did feel a little bad. But I couldn’t help it. Something about being carried like this was too exciting to mull in guilt.
He kicked the door wider so we could enter and immediately he placed me down on the bed. Everything around me in the room smelt like him and it was intoxicating, only driving my
want for him higher. A part of me even wondered what it would be like once I was shifted and became open to senses far more sensitive. We weren’t destined mates, and I knew that there was nothing I could do about that, but even without a mate bond he always managed to have an effect on
The best-case scenario with Bash would be to become chosen mates, something that wouldn’t give me the artificial yet intense feelings of a destined mate, but it would be nice nonetheless. If it was between purely a fake emotional attachment induced by the Goddess’ choice, and someone who genuinely cared about me but wouldn’t give me destined mate sparks, I knew which I would choose.
And then I realised all this talk of mates was me getting a little ahead of myself. I hadn’t even spoken to Bash yet about us… about how it would even be possible for us to be together long-term… and worse, I hadn’t even spoken to him about his questionable exclusivity.
But there wasn’t enough time to go into all of that yet… for now, I would be happy with just one answer.
Bash was on me, continuing to kiss me as his hand already started to unzip the back of my dress. His touch was a fire that made me want to forget all my worries, but I managed to clear my head enough to speak.
“Bash,” I whispered.
I cursed internally at myself though when I realised that it didn’t even sound remotely like I was trying to get him to stop what he was doing.
cleared my throat. “Bash,” I repeated, trying again. “Hang on
a second. I need to ask you something first before we do this.”
