Chapter 69
Ava’s funeral took place after a couple of days, adding to the weight of sorrow that already hung in the air.
The ceremony unfolded under the open sky, and despite my attempts to conceal my distinct features, I couldn’t help but feel the need to keep my distance from the crowd. Engaging with anyone seemed like an insurmountable task on this day of mourning. Yet, the turnout was immense, making it even more challenging to avoid interactions.
Countless individuals gathered here, each one deeply touched by Ava’s kind-hearted spirit. Among them were relatives, teachers, and even some of the older children from the orphanage where she resided. Though they remained unseen from my position towards the rear, I knew Benjamin and Bash were somewhere in the crowd as well, paying their respects.
As I stood there, surrounded by grieving souls, I couldn’t escape the weight of responsibility for taking Ava away from those who loved her. The sorrow engulfing so many people mirrored my own anguish. It forced me to confront a difficult truth: had the families of the innocent lives I had taken in my past existence also shed tears like this?
As the sun started its descent, casting its warm farewell, the funeral rites began. The werewolf community preferred conducting their ceremonies at night, or as close to it as possible, to catch the attention of their divine spectator, Selene, the Goddess of the moon. Though, truth be told, she didn’t seem particularly invested or inclined to intervene.
When it came to funerals, however, the timing was carefully chosen to coincide with the dying embers of daylight. It held a symbolic significance and also spared us the need for torches while laying our loved ones to rest.
I found myself a quiet spot in the back, seeking solace and distance. But, in my attempt to blend into the shadows, I made a blunder. My gaze wandered momentarily, scanning the faces around me, until it locked onto a pair of captivating golden eyes staring right back at me. Eyes I had hoped to avoid. The encounter lasted only a brief second, yet it spoke volumes between us-a wordless conversation of emotions.
To escape the intensity, I hastily shifted my gaze, hoping it would suffice. Praying that he wouldn’t approach me. Today, I simply couldn’t handle any more. Whatever had transpired with Bash, it was a mistake I wasn’t prepared to confront now. Luckily, it seemed Bash understood the unspoken plea, as he refrained from approaching me.
After that, I kept my gaze lowered, my ears attuned to the voice of the esteemed Elder leading the solemn ceremony. But damn, their words seemed to drift away on the wind, barely reaching my ears. I knew I had to be present, but with every passing moment, it became a struggle. Each breath felt like a battle, weighed down by the turmoil of anxiety and pain festering inside me.
Finally, when it was all said and done, a rush of relief surged through my veins, causing me to exhale sharply. I lingered behind, waiting until nearly everyone had departed, seizing the moment I had been yearning for. With determination, I approached the closed casket, a wave of gratitude washing over me. Thank goodness I didn’t have to confront her lifeless visage again, as the memories of discovering her in the park
threatened to flood back and consume me.
I gently rested my hand upon the lid, closing my eyes in
remorse.
“I offer my heartfelt apologies, Ava,” I murmured softly.
Suddenly, a touch landed upon my shoulder, causing me to snap my head up in surprise. It was Ava’s parents, standing before me.
Guilt coiled within me, akin to a searing blade twisting in my
gut.
“Thank you for being here,” Ava’s mother spoke, her voice filled with gratitude. “We know our daughter held a deep affection for you. It means the world to her, knowing you’ve come today.”
I swallowed hard, clenching my jaw for a fleeting moment, as a wave of nausea washed over me, listening to their unwitting praises.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to utter weakly.
Both of them smiled warmly, misunderstanding my apology as a general expression of condolence for their loss.
“Thank you, dear,” her mother whispered, tenderly enveloping my hands within her own.
-After a brief pause, she glanced at Ava’s father, exchanging a wordless understanding.
“Um… we were wondering, if it’s alright with you…,” she began tentatively, her confidence faltering. “You know, it would mean the world to us if you could give her a blessing on
behalf of the Goddess.”
Their gazes fixed on me, brimming with hope and sorrow, as if I held the power to grant their daughter eternal peace. It was a najve belief, really, to think that the Goddess cared for us mortals.
Yet, this was their truth, ingrained by upbringing, just as I too had foolishly embraced it in a bygone era. I had already stolen their precious daughter away, so was I now about to strip them of their unwavering faith as well?
Ignoring the gnawing unease that urged me against it, I mustered the courage to lay my hand gently on Ava’s coffin. Deep down, I knew it was all a facade, but if it offered solace to those around me, I was willing to play along.
Clearing my throat, I took a moment to gather myself before continuing. “Oh, magnificent Mother, Selene, the force behind our existence and the wellspring of our strength. Today, we beseech you to guide your beloved child, Ava, to eternal serenity. Her untarnished spirit has been… mercilessly taken…”
This felt so utterly wrong. I shouldn’t have been partaking in this charade.
“Winona?” I heard Ava’s mother call out, concern lacing her
voice.
Shaking my head with a frown, I stammered, “Uh… Whose spirit was… unfairly snatched away…”
Her mother’s hand reached out, attempting to offer me solace once again, but I couldn’t bear it any longer.
“I’m sorry,” I-whispered, my voice barely audible. “I-I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”
I stumbled back, my heart racing, from the somber sight of the coffin. The weight of emotions threatened to consume me, an unstoppable force closing in.
In the distance, I caught sight of a secluded spot concealed by trees and shrubs. It seemed tailor-made for my immediate needs. Without hesitation, I made a beeline towards it, my pace quickening, until I found myself hunched over a public trash bin, surrendering the meager contents of my stomach.
Yet, amidst my retching, I sensed a familiar presence nearby. Someone stood casually against a tree, silently observing the spectacle. They must have trailed me from the funeral proceedings.
“You don’t look so good, Winona,” their voice broke the silence, devoid of sugarcoating.
“Nice to see you too, Benjamin,” I replied weakly, turning my gaze to meet his.
He strolled over, gracefully positioning himself beside me, yet I sensed a noticeable gap separating us. It seemed he had recognized that his impulsive display of affection the other day had only deepened my anguish instead of offering solace.
“You know what I’m getting at,” he remarked. “You appear as though you haven’t slept a wink in ages. And honestly, if I hadn’t witnessed you throwing up firsthand, I would have seriously questioned your eating habits as well.”
I brushed my mouth with the back of my hand, attempting to regain composure.
“Winona,” he reproached, his tone filled with disapproval. “I was there that night, so don’t fib. I overheard your words. It’s glaringly evident when you connect the dots.”
“If you’ve grasped that much, then your focus should be on the quest to locate the young maiden, Isabella, rather than a band of miscreants,” I suggested, my voice tinged with determination.
“That’s not what I’m referring to,” he countered. “I’m talking about the burden you’ve placed upon yourself for a transgression you didn’t commit.”
“You have no idea what I’ve done!” I exclaimed, my voice echoing through the room.
He closed the distance between us, intensifying our conversation. “I know enough. I understand that you bear the weight of guilt for leaving her in the clutches of someone you believe to be her killer. However, we lack concrete evidence, Winona. I fail to comprehend why you’re behaving in such a manner.”
“Because I am accountable, Benjamin!” I whispered fiercely.
Our eyes locked, each reflecting the fervor of our
disagreement. The spell was abruptly shattered by the abrupt interruption of someone clearing their throat, alerting us to an unexpected observer.
“Um, pardon me, esteemed Alpha heir and distinguished Beta heir,” they stammered, likely catching the tail end of our dispute. “I apologize for intruding, but there’s an urgent
matter that demands your immediate attention.”
