Chapter 68
It took me a while to gather the courage to speak without my voice trembling completely.
“I apologize… I’m truly sorry about Ava,” I choked out, tears cascading down my cheeks. “This time, I couldn’t rescue her. I couldn’t… I assigned her a task, and she lost her life because of it. Because of me. Foolishly, I allowed her to approach that danger!”
He remained silent for a few moments, attempting to digest my confession before finally responding.
“…Are you implying that Ava wasn’t slain by the renegades?”
I shook my head vigorously. “No… well, perhaps… I’m uncertain. It was a girl named Isabella. She might have been in cahoots with the renegades, for all I know. But no one believes me. No one believes that it was undeniably her. And despite my suspicion of Isabella’s dubious nature, I still permitted Ava to engage with her. It’s entirely my fault, Bash… I am consumed by remorse
He stopped abruptly, his expression filled with evident bewilderment. “… Did you have any inkling of her treacherous nature? That she could actually pose a physical threat to Ava?”
I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “Honestly… I never anticipated it, but I-”
“Then you can’t blame yourself,” he asserted, his tone matter-
of-fact, as if that single statement could magically erase all the turmoil.
“But, Bash, I was-”
“Winona,” he said, his voice taking on a somber tone, cutting through my thoughts once again. He gently placed his hand on my cheek, urging me to meet his gaze. “Hey. It’s not your fault.”
His words struck a chord deep within me, shattering a part of my being. I couldn’t hold back anymore, and the tears cascaded down my face as grief consumed me. Seeking solace, he drew me close, enveloping me in his embrace. As I wept against his chest, his presence offered a balm to my soul, allowing me to release the pain that had been building up inside.
We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, finding comfort in each other’s arms. Gradually, a sense of tranquility washed over me, as if a glacial numbness was encasing my emotions once more. It was a familiar sensation, one that I had grown accustomed to. In its own peculiar way, it provided respite from the agony I had been enduring. Yet, as my mind cleared, a jolt of realization coursed through me-we were still touching, Bash and I, intimately connected in this moment.
His presence radiated an indescribable warmth, surpassing anything I had known in the past three dreary days. Those were the days when I felt empty, devoid of any spark of life. As I gazed into his mesmerizing golden eyes, forever ablaze like molten metal, a flicker of curiosity ignited within me. Could there exist an alternative to this stagnant existence?
He drew near, so close that I could scrutinize every intricate
2/6
Chapter 68
1288 Vouchers
line on his face-his eyes, his cheeks, his lips. I could even sense his breath mingling with mine, coaxing my body to gravitate towards him. It enticed me with the promise of escaping this frigid internal nightmare. If I dared reach out and seize it, perhaps I would be infused with an indescribable vitality, revitalizing my very being.
At the precipice of our faces being merely an inch apart, a moment of hesitation washed over me. I could have chosen to stop there, evading any consequences. Yet, defying my rational judgment, I cautiously leaned in and tenderly brushed my lips against his. In that instant, I felt an immediate wave of relief, a tingling sensation coursing through my stomach, radiating towards my core. It was an unfamiliar sensation, something novel and unprecedented, yet an undeniable craving began to take hold of me.
I sensed his awareness of my uncertainty as he allowed me to take the lead. My own internal struggle made me pause for a moment to savor the new sensation of discovering how he felt against me. His lips were just as warm as his hands, which now began to delicately press into my back and waist, drawing me closer.
In response, I reciprocated, intensifying the kiss, yearning for more. I longed for those electrifying sparks, that inferno of passion that could potentially reawaken my sense of being alive.
As I tentatively reached out to him, I realized how easily I could become addicted to this feeling. The slow movement of my hand against his chest allowed me to eventually sense the rapid beating of his heart beneath my palm. It was a reaction that made me realize my own heart was responding in the same fervent manner. It was a craving I couldn’t resist.
An electric jolt surged through my body, signaling an immediate transformation. I could sense the shift in my demeanor, radiating confidence, and he swiftly interpreted as a green light. With tenderness, he gently cradled my face in his hand, drawing me closer to him, wrapping his warmth around my being.
This encounter was unlike anything I had ever known. In my previous encounters with Benjamin, his touch lacked affection, and our private moments together were sterile and detached. True intimacy was never a priority, as he merely fulfilled his duty to secure an heir. My desires were inconsequential in that equation.
Those instances with Benjamin were characterized by artificial sparks, compelled by the bonds of mating. Yet, this was an entirely distinct sensation. It didn’t feel obligatory or coerced; it felt genuine, authentic, and undeniably real.
With trembling hands, I delicately entwined my fingers in his luscious, dark tresses, yearning for more of this intoxicating sensation. Craving more of him. And amidst the fervor, a curious thought arose within me: if I surrendered myself entirely to him in that very moment, would he consume me with his fiery passion or come to my rescue?
But then, a faint voice from the depths of my being whispered, “Neither. You, my dear, are his bane. We are his bane.”
The unexpected shock of those words reverberated in my mind, compelling me to retreat abruptly, my eyes wide with astonishment as I stared at Bash standing before me.
“Each time we have bestowed our love upon another,” she
continued, her voice barely audible, “it has only birthed anguish in its wake.”
“…Winona?” Bash murmured softly, sensing the sudden shift
within me.
“We made a solemn promise,” she uttered, her tone laden with sorrow. “When our head was poised to rest upon that chopping block, moments away from the fatal blow, we swore that loving anyone was the gravest mistake we had ever made. And Ava’s demise was the tragic consequence of repeating that very mistake.”
A wave of sickness washed over me, the realization dawning that now I was jeopardizing Bash’s well-being for the sake of my own desires.
“I… I can’t,” I began to speak, my voice faltering as I struggled to find the right words.
“…Hey, are you alright? What’s the matter?” Bash’s face underwent a drastic transformation. His expression was filled- with worry, but I barely registered it in my mind.
I shook my head, struggling to regain my balance. He reached out towards me, but I instinctively recoiled and raised my hands defensively, signaling him to maintain his distance.
“I shouldn’t be here. This place isn’t right for me,” I uttered. “I have to leave.”
“Wait, Winona. Please, talk to me. Did I do something wrong?”
“No… no… It’s not about you. It’s just… something feels off. I’ve made a mistake,” I managed to say incoherently. I began to move towards the front door, my vision blurred and
unfocused. However, his words halted me as I extended my hand towards the doorknob.
“…Is this because of Ava? Are you still carrying the weight of guilt for her passing? Do you think you don’t deserve to be happy?”
My heart skipped a beat within my chest.
“…Because it wasn’t your fault, Winona,” he persisted. “You need to stop blaming yourself. Ava’s death is not on your shoulders.”
I longed to turn around and face him, but I knew that doing so would make it almost impossible for me to leave. Thus, I murmured softly to the door, as if speaking to myself.
“…You know nothing about me, Bash.”
And without pausing for even a single extra moment, I departed.
