Forged In The Flames By Karima Sa’ad Usman
Chapter 37 Pondering On It (Aliana POV)
The moment Nikolas left the room, I became scared. Who would have thought he was King Mathias’ son? His hatred towards my father when he arrived, was understandable.
My heart broke, and I tried to hide it so I do not spoil his mood. It was unfair for a prince to grow up in the wild and watch his mother go feral. I am yet to know how Queen Isabel lost her mind, but going through all that would drive anyone off the edge.
I looked around the room and thought of Forest as an entirety and realised everything was his all along. He never took anything, and the fact that he had to fight for it made me feel like a thief.
It made me feel guilty. I wasn’t the one that took it, but I felt that way.
Nikolas must care about me to ease his rage on my people. I could just imagine what was happening in his head when he arrived and saw my father: the man he believed buried a sword in his father’s heart, stole his kingdom and banished his mother.
My father was lucky to be alive.
I was fortunate to be alive.
As much as Nikolas told me I had nothing to worry about, I knew I had plenty to worry about.
Queen Isabelle was bound to hate me, and soon he would have to choose because I doubted the woman would let it go.
She was alive when everything happened. She had her version of the truth based on experience; her pain and hatred would be more profound than Nikolas’s. I was afraid and didn’t know what to do.
Everything was against me. I wasn’t only a werewolf but the daughter of the man that ruined their lives. I couldn’t tell him what my father said about how his father died, he would think it was because I knew, and he would not believe it. Only the goddess could vindicate my poor father.
I am sure if my father could glimpse into the future, he wouldn’t have tried to march the werewolves to the palace to demand freedom, but if he hadn’t done that, King Mathias would have wiped us out.
There was no way King Fredrick wouldn’t have taken advantage of the slave trade deal. It was for the best but at the expense of Nikolas and his poor mother.
I had held it together throughout my time with Nikolas since he returned from his mother’s room in the morning. But now that I was alone, I broke down.
I broke down because I was afraid, and I wasn’t willing to let go. I was fooling myself when I believed I could walk away when the time came. I knew deep down I wouldn’t be able to do it.
Someone feared, hated and misjudged by my kind loved me wholly and wholeheartedly. No one would ever love me as Nikolas does, and that thought alone made me dread a separation.
Someone knocked on the door, and I did not need to guess who it was. I wiped away my tears and asked Ania and Lisa to enter. They came with two trays of food and a frown. I didn’t bother to ask them why they were frowning because I wasn’t faring well either. It was best I minded my business so they do not get into mine.
“Aliana, Alpha said we should eat with you and keep you company because he would spend the rest of the day with his mother. Hope you don’t mind?” Ania said, and I smiled at her, but Lisa continued frowning. She put the tray on the table and came to look at my face.
“Aliana, are you crying?” She said, and I tried to look away, but she caught it. She gasped immediately, and I wondered what was shocking.
“Alpha ended your relationship?” She asked, and I shook my head. She was the most pessimistic person I had ever known. She frowned, wondering what was the reason for my sadness.
“So, what is the matter?” She asked and sat o n a chair at the table. I joined her and Ania at the table to look at the food.
“She doesn’t want to share Alpha’s attention with his mother,” Ania teased, laughing. She easily got over her anger.
“She is missing her man,” she continued, but Lisa wasn’t buying it.
“The woman is hateful, I would be worried too if I were Aliana,” Lisa said, and I looked at her because she was closest to the reason. “Alpha has stopped us from attending to her, so all we are charged with now is hanging with you and doing whatever you like. I can’t believe the woman would hate the people that nursed her to health, halfbreed or not, werewolf or not; if Aliana did not step in and we were not diligent, the woman would be dead by now. Gezel and Erica finally got the promotion they wanted. I heard Gezel saying the woman plans to get rid of you and get her son a Lycan bride. For goddess sake, she just got her senses, and I think she would be trouble for everyone. I hate to say this, but I regret everything we did for her,” Lisa said, and I gasped. Ania did not do the same; she agreed.
“What?” Lisa said, sounding a bit angry and looking at me.
“Ania was there; she saw how the woman behaved. She was disgusted by our scent alone. You should be worried, Aliana. That woman is not a good person. Feral or not, I think we messed with the mercy of the goddess by nursing her to health,” she said, and I covered her mouth.
“The walls have ears, and Lycans have abilities. Watch what you say, please,” I said, and she mumbled something, so I immediately removed my hand from her lips.
“You have been warned, Aliana. That woman is no good,” She said, and I sighed.
After learning what I learned, Isabelle’s hatred was justifiable. I could not fault her for hating werewolves.
“It isn’t her fault, you know?” I said, and they both looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
“Are you crazy? That woman is planning on separating you from Alpha. And don’t lie about how you feel because we have been there from the beginning. You two are so good together, Aliana; what that woman intends to do is a crime and a sin. Do not justify her intentions,” Ania said, sounding slightly annoyed, and I nodded.
“Yes, you are right. I am in love with him. I want things that I should only dream of with him. In fact, I deceive myself daily on the matter, but I have to be honest with myself,” I said, and tears began streaming down my cheeks.
As much as I wanted to hang on to Nikolas’s words, only time would tell. I do not see him cutting himself off from his mother, and if she fails to see the light, one of us has to go, and it definitely won’t be her.
“I am f*uc*ked!” I said and covered my face, letting my tears fall.
I couldn’t cry like this with Nikolas around because he would say I do not trust him, but I could cry my heart out with Ania and Lisa; they would listen to me and help me unburden my heart.
“I am afraid,” I confessed and got up.
I had lost my appetite and did not want to eat anything. I went to the couch, and they followed me.
Nikolas must have permitted them to be free because they sat on the couch with me.
“I am sure Alpha will not let you down, Aliana. You need to see how he looks at you and behaves with you. It is out of his character. He has made many exceptions, for your sake. Your people are safe because he loves you. All he has done to make you happy cannot go to waste. It will not go to waste, Aliana. One thing I know of this man is that he has a mind of his own and cannot be manipulated. The few times I have seen him handle problems, I have known he can’t be easily swayed. You are the first woman he would cling to like this. It has to count for something.” Ania said, and Lisa stroked my hair.
“I am sorry I do not have encouraging words to give you like Ania, but what Ania said has to count for something. Alpha cares about you. He might not give you honour and might have taken you from your father to show dominance, but he has been loving and gentle towards you,” Lisa said, and I wiped away my tears.
“Yes, I would feel the same way if he wasn’t the son of the late King and Isabelle, the former queen,” I said, and they gasped and moved away from me immediately.
I could see their dancing eyes doing the math. They understood my fear and could now see it. It was sad.
“Are you sure about what you said?” Ania asked, and I nodded.
“You have an excellent reason to be worried, Aliana. You have every reason to be scared,” She confessed, and I knew I wasn’t overreacting because Ania was the positive of the two, and that was what she had to say. “So what do you want to do?” Lisa said with a low voice.
“I can’t do anything. I just have to wait and see,” I said, and she shook her head.
“You have to guard your heart and brace yourself for the worse. Your father killed his father and took over his kingdom. He had to grow up in the wild with his mother until she became feral, while you grew up in his kingdom like a little princess. I am afraid for you, Aliana, because only the goddess knows his true intentions towards you.
Guard your heart and expect to be disappointed so when it happens, you won’t be disappointed,” Lisa said, and I laughed like a mad woman.
I was laughing at myself.
My heart was racing; fear ran in my veins, but I continued laughing.
Why was everything difficult, and why weren’t there easy solutions?
“How can I do that when I have fallen completely in love with him?” I said, and Ania came to sit down and stroked my hair. They felt sorry for me. I felt sorry for myself; my fate was in the hands of the goddess.