Forged In The Flames By Karima Sa’ad Usman
Chapter 15 Risking It All
Nikolas POV
Sitting in the tub with Aliana in my arms fell so right. It felt more right than anything I had done in my entire life. How could something that felt so right be so wrong?
There was an incredible feeling that came with Aliana. A feeling that I had never felt before. And though I fought it, I knew it would be inevitable. In the past, I had fought myself from embracing my feelings because I knew they would not last. I would have to fulfil my promises to my mother, and I could not place Aliana in that picture.
After the date night that we danced and drank, and she even threw up, I knew I loved her, and I knew my heart wouldn’t stop beating the way it did, but I also knew what we had was forbidden and against everything in our world.
After Grant and Ingham confronted me in my office, it made me rethink everything.
I knew the feeling I was developing for Aliana would not disappear, but I could not allow it to thrive, so I cut off and tried to deal with my emotions.
I tried to forget about that night and how she made me feel. I shut her off and stayed away. I told myself that it would go away if I did not see her, but it left nothing but emptiness in my heart, and I was a miserable man.
Within those months, I applied for kingship, and many people suggested it would move faster if I were mated to a Lycan from either the Snow King’s family or the Hill King’s family, but I felt it was wrong because I was the rightful heir to the forest throne. It was Gabriel’s fault, and knowing I still had a revenge to enact on the traitor made me pull away from Aliana.
My nights were long, and my days were long and cold.
It was hard, and I saw myself and my drive fade away.
Qusack noticed, and he would often urge me to damn the consequences and live in the moment, but I was worried about where my actions would leave Aliana and me when it was time to part ways because it would happen. No matter how much I loved her, I knew we would have to say goodbye someday. The complexity of the situation made me fall back, k*ill*ing me.
I often glanced at her door and imagined what she was doing there. When I entered my mother’s room, her scent lingered in the air, and I took it in.
It had been difficult, and Ingham and Grant made it worse by organising the ridiculous garden parties at night.
It used to be something I enjoyed, but I just couldn’t relax and participate anymore. I was in knots.
I would catch Aliana peeking from the window, but she did not think I would see her. I could see in the dark, and I would see her rage and disappointment before she moved away. I knew she was feeling what I was feeling. Both of us were suffering.
If only I wasn’t a Lycan, and if only her father had not betrayed my father, then this would have worked, but everything was against us, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. It wasn’t going to work.
Soon her curtain remained permanently closed, and I believed she had given up and moved on. It was okay because it was a hopeless situation, but I wondered what would have been. I wondered how it would have felt to love her without reserve, even if it was for a day. I wondered so much that I sank into depression.
Soon I noticed Ingham would come to my office with her scent on him, and Qusack knew too. I wanted to confront him, but I believed his explanation would break my heart and make me lose my temper. I did not want to hurt Aliana, so I let it rest.
I believed she had broken a rule, but I was ready to let it go, just like every other rule she had broken and gotten away with.
I focused on the megacity we were building and hoped the response from the Kings would come soon.
Every day I would sit on the chair in my mother’s room and read her a story.
I would gaze at her, hoping she would return to her senses and recognise me. If that ever happened, then everything I had suffered and endured, even refusing to love the woman I wanted, would be worth it, but it never happened, and I continued to suffer.
I was mad when Grant linked me to inform me of Ingham’s conduct and what he was doing to Aliana.
Qusack tried to stop me from going to the scene by telling me he would handle it because he was closer to the palace, but by then, Bane had taken over, and we were heading back to the palace. I arrived and saw what Ingham had done. I had never been so mad in my life. I had to control myself.
After discussing with Aliana in her room, I realised I would be a fool if I did not give what we had a chance. I had punished myself for too long. The fact that she understood that it would not last and knew what would happen in the future made me want to build memories with her.
If I ever have to let her go, I will never love or t*ouch another till the day I d*ie. I planned to suffer the same way she would I was mad at myself for blocking her off, that was why Ingham could do what he wanted. When my men and the maids narrated everything to me, it took a lot for me not to kill Ingham.
I was also proud of Aliana for not being easy and standing her ground. I always knew her defiance would pay off one day, and it did. Had she been easy, the b*astar*d would have succeeded, and he would have lost his life for it. Her defiance saved his life, and I made sure I let him know it before I demoted him.
Now while in the tub, I pulled Aliana close to my chest and promised myself never to let go.
I was unsure of my resolve until I saw her lying in my bed.
I knew it would be a hard thing to do, and I would have enemies for it. I might never be King, but she was worth it.
I wasn’t going to tell her so she does not get afraid. But I planned to separate her from my vengeance and let my heart and wolf be happy for once. I wasn’t going to let her go. I was in this for the long haul.
I held her in the tub with this resolve, and my heart rested.
I wanted her to sit in hot water for a bit to avoid getting sore. Some would argue cold water would have been better, but I did not want her to be uncomfortable.
I bent to k*iss her shoulder and then her sweet spot where my mark would rest one day. She m*oa*ned sweetly, and I smiled. She responded so well, I knew it could only come from the heart.
What she felt was genuine, and I wanted to cherish it for the rest of my life.
I intertwined her fingers in mine and brought her hand to my l*ips to k*iss.
“Thank you,” I said, knowing I was her first. She did not say a word, and it was okay. There was no need for words between us. We were giving this thing a shot, and I was secretly giving it my all, I didn’t want to just have memories, I wanted to know what love truly feels like and live it.
We sat in the tub for a while and then returned to bed. I made love to her again.
I knew she would be my addiction, so I was giving in and not punishing myself anymore. I spent the night learning about her b*ody and understanding her pleasure.
I wanted to be enough. I wanted to be her everything.
“What is your wolfs name?” I asked her while we lay in bed, spent from all the lovemaking.
“Raven,” she said, and I repeated the name.
“Raven,” I said and looked at her. “Is she as stubborn as you are?” I asked, and Aliana giggled.
She had a gorgeous smile. I could not believe that I had taken it away for a while. I was glad to see it and that it wasn’t alcohol that made her smile like the last time. It was all me.
“My wolf’s name is Bane,” I told her, knowing she wouldn’t ask me, and she smiled and t*ouched my chest.
I pulled her close, and she placed her head on my chest with her leg over me. “Hold me like that, and I will bury myself in you again,” I teased, and she giggled. I slept peacefully.
I woke up in the morning with Aliana still in my arms.
She was asleep, and I knew I overdid it last night. I linked Ania and Lisa to handle my mother’s care in the morning. I told Qusack to inspect the work being done because I decided I needed a break and wanted to sleep in.
I wanted every minute with Aliana to count because keeping what we have would not be easy, and a time would come when I would have to fight for it. These were peaceful moments, and I wanted to enjoy them.
I did not go back to sleep. I just held her and wondered what our lives would be like from then onward.
I wondered how things would have been between us if there were no laws prohibiting Lycans from mating with werewolves and if her father was not the cause of my family’s demise. I wondered what our lives would be if I did not make promises to my mother that I had to keep. I wondered what our lives would be like if I did not have to restore my family’s name and honour.
I knew I would never know because that was our reality, but I planned to love her through it all and fight for what I wanted, and she was at the top of my list.
Aliana woke up, and we got ready for the day together. She decided to check on my mother, and I told her to wait for me when it was time for the evening session.
I also planned to surprise her by allowing her to see her father at the weekend. I already knew he was sick and did not have the might to move against me.
I also knew that Aliana cared about me and would not hurt me for the sake of her father and people, so I planned to trust her and allow her to see her father. However, Ania and Lisa must accompany her everywhere she goes.
I went to the office and found everyone there, Qusack, Grant, and my new Delta, Abraham.
I sat on my chair and looked at Grant, daring him to speak and complain about Aliana, but he held his t*ongue. I guess I showed my intentions with how I treated Ingham.
“So, is she Luna?” Grant asked, trying to be careful, and I knew he wanted the answer.
“Of course, you know the answer to that question, Grant. I care about Aliana, but she can’t be Luna,” I said, and he nodded. I could not tell anyone my intentions yet. It was my secret.
“Nonetheless, she must be cared for and respected. She will accompany me to places in Forest and parties too. The only times she won’t be by my side is when I have to attend to things outside the Forest Territory, and we all know why,” I said, and Qusack nodded.
“Won’t that create a problem with your request?” Grant asked, and I sighed.
“When that time comes, I will know what to do,” I said, and he nodded. I might not have it figured out, but I planned to lake everything a step at a time.