Chapter 99
“I want you to care about something again, anything.” He sighed and walked around the room, pacing in thought.
“Is it because of the collar? Because we both know there is nothing I can do about that,” he said, inspecting the bookshelf by the couch that was only collecting dust. “…Or maybe it’s because Bash left-?”
“Don’t say his name,” I hissed without missing a beat.
His words had triggered a reflex inside and I could feel the sting that accompanied hearing the name after all this time.
Benjamin looked up quickly to where I stood, just as surprised as I was over my blatant reaction.
But just as quickly as I looked up, I turned away again, instead deciding to focus my attention on a lamp in the corner.
“…I apologise for my outburst,” I said quietly, resuming my composure.
He exhaled in defeat and ran a hand through his hair. “…No need to apologise. It’s nice to know at least something gets a real reaction.”
We stood in silence for a few moments, the tension in the air needing time to release, before Benjamin finally broke it.
“I’ve got that big annual meeting tomorrow,” he said. “The one where all the small packs in the vicinity get together. Leo
asked me to go this year to oversee it since he finds them too
bothersome. It’s being held at the Diamond Claw pack.”
‘Leo! My ears hadn’t failed to pick up how Benjamin said his name with a tone of irritation rather than refer to him respectfully as ‘Father. When had that started? Probably when Leo decided to force us together. I could see how the unwanted outcome would put a strain on their relationship.
“That sounds…,” I started but my voice trailed off. I knew if I said ‘nice’ he’d probably be triggered by my attitude once
more.
“Boring as hell,” he provided, finishing the sentence for me. “…Which is why you’re coming with me.”
I looked up shocked, unsure if I’d heard him correctly. “Pardon?”
“I said you’re coming with me. To the meeting. We’re leaving tomorrow morning and we’ll be staying there overnight so get Lily to pack a small bag for you.”
My hand reached up and touched at the collar. “Leo knows about this? About letting me leave the Lock Heart to attend a pack meeting?”
“He knows,” he confirmed.
I didn’t want to go. I’d been hiding myself away from my own pack these past few months and was sure that rumours had spread already about my new… jewellery. The last thing I wanted was to be at the mercy of other pack leaders and suffer their mockery.
“I’m not a Luna yet,” I objected weakly.
“I’m not an Alpha yet,” he retorted.
“I’m too tired to go.”
“You do nothing except sit around all day.”‘
I bit the inside of my cheek. It looked as though there was no getting out of this. But he was grossly mistaken if he thought I’d help out with the meeting in any way. After everything I was being put through, I didn’t owe this pack anything.
“Okay…,” I mumbled, finally yielding.
“Okay,” he repeated, sounding slightly relieved.
Nothing really became of the conversation from there. I reverted to autopilot responses as I withdrew inside my he thinking about all the pack leaders I’d need to face tomorrow
At some point Benjamin said he had to go and would see me tomorrow. So, with nothing else to do, I headed back towards my bedroom in a daze, wondering what to do first to prepare.
Before I could get there though, an image suddenly flashed next to me on the wall that immediately caught my attention. It was a mirror. A mirror that caused me to flinch at the sight.
And slowly, I brought a hand up to touch my face.
My eyes looked dull, ringed within dark circles, my cheeks more hollow. Around my body, I could see that I’d lost some of the muscle mass I’d accumulated over the last few years of Beta training. I looked weak.
I looked almost as bad as my past self.
“…I see you,” I whispered to my reflection. “You used to be a
ghost living in the furthest part of my mind, barely visible within my eyes. But look at you now. It’s almost like you never left.”
I felt the absence of her voice, her normal whispering not coming forward to torment me. In fact, when I thought hard about it, I hadn’t heard her speak in forever.
“What? Nothing to say now? I remember you had plenty to express back when you were urging me on to try and kill Isabella. Look at how great that turned out.”
However, once more, I was met with only silence.
I scoffed. “Have I fallen too low for even you now? What a joke.”
I turned my back on the mirror, no longer wanting to see the reminder, and resumed on my way to start packing. I knew Lily would be returning soon and could do it but I felt the need to be doing something to distract myself.
Though now I thought on it, I had no idea what was happening outside in the world anymore; something that only fed my anxiety. There could have been an apocalypse unfolding and I’d probably be sleeping through it. I struggled to find the energy required to focus on it anymore and, deep down, a small part of me had even begun to hope this place would burn to the ground.
So was Benjamin right? I really hadn’t shown interest in anything since arriving. When was the last time I’d even thought about Isabella? About any of the pending doom Selene had cursed me with knowing about, yet had refused to elaborate on? Everything seemed like such a blur after the first week I came here. Had I been justified or neglectful in my
refusal to try anymore?
The image of myself in the mirror flashed inside my mind once more, reminding me of my current state. Perhaps I had let things go too far but it had become so easy to forget given the circumstances. Especially since I hadn’t seen Isabella around.
She had been declared long gone within the days that followed her disappearance. Just as I had originally suspected, Jonathan’s body was found. It was messy, rushed; evidence clear that it had been done on impulse rather than premeditated. But further surprising was the disappearance of several other warriors in the days that followed. I could speculate that either they were assassinated as a precaution or just got spooked, running away before Isabella could get her hands on them.
She would be back, it would be naive to think otherwise, but things wouldn’t be able to transpire anywhere near the same as it had in the past. From talking to her, I knew Benjamin wasn’t her goal. At least not romantically. I could only surmise then that it was something bigger. Something I was a part of. But if she had really intended to kill me, as she had so tastefully mentioned in the hospital, why didn’t she just… do
it?
She was clearly physically stronger than most were giving her credit for. After all, she had thrown me across the room with ease. And whilst she had denied behind a rogue herself, she obviously had some sort of sway or influence over them if she was managing their movements.
Thinking about it in detail, it seemed almost strange that I had survived this long not only now, but in the past also. Couldn’t
she have just killed me herself before I dug up any information on her? I wasn’t even shifted yet. So what was stopping her?
And then a thought came to me.
She needed me alive.
