Chapter 80
He pulled back to look at me and it was almost like I’d wrenched him out of a daze. My heart swelled a little at seeing him like that, seeing the effect I had on him, knowing that it was me that had done that. It was identical to how my mind
became lost in the moment because of him.
“Right now?” he asked, his breath heavy.
‘…It can wait,’ I heard myself say in my head as I gazed at his perfect features.
“…Yes,” I said reluctantly. “I need to know… I need to know. what your relationship with Zoey is. Zoey Sullivan from the Hidden Moon pack.”
He stared at me in disbelief almost as if he couldn’t believe I was asking this now of all times.
“… Did you ever sleep with her?”
Zoey was incredibly beautiful, even I could tell. If there was someone who would be a good match for Bash, I could see how someone like Zoey would be a perfect fit. She was of Alpha blood too, attractive, smart, funny… kind even to strangers. Clearly, she was into Bash since she’d called him her ‘hot date’. If they were or had been together though, then it meant that the words Bash had told me the night of Benjamin’s coming of age might not have been completely genuine.
“No, Winona…,” he said slowly, almost mildly annoyed. “I did
not sleep with her or have any sort of intimate relationship with her.”
Relief flooded through me and instantly I felt so much better, more assured. But I still needed more answers.
“So when she called you her ‘hot date’… what was going on?” I pressed further.
He sighed, sitting up and rubbed at his face.
“Nothing. Nothing was going on,” he said. “Zoey and I are friends, she was probably joking. I stayed with her pack briefly whilst I was travelling and got to know her. Things were good, we got along great, we still do, but I ended up leaving after only a month or so. Her father propositioned me to take Zoey as a chosen mate in the event neither of us found our destined ones. Given our families lineage and the affiliation it could create, it seemed like a good deal for both our packs. Zoey even came to me and confessed she was attracted to me.”
Oh. That didn’t sound like nothing but I could see how the proposal would have been extremely beneficial to both parties. They really would be a good pair from what I could tell.
“…And what did you say?” I asked hesitantly, now unsure if I even wanted to know about this anymore.
“No!” he said as if it was obvious. “Of course I said no, you dork. I’d much rather be with this one very stubborn, very annoying old lady who always makes me constantly question my sanity… I want to be with you, Winona, and I meant that.”
I felt a warm happiness rush inside me and I wanted to give in
Vouchers to it immediately… but I knew that, as nice as being with Bash was, the reality was that it was most likely temporary.
I realised that in an ideal world, being his chosen mate would be the best-case scenario…however, this wasn’t an ideal world. Our relationship would possibly ignite a war,
something that I’d been trying to push out of my mind to just enjoy the euphoric moment of being with him the last hour or
…And then, of course, there was whether he’d meet his
destined mate. Something I would be helpless to stand in the way of once he experienced it. I knew how good it felt to feel the mate bond of someone destined for you, how easy it would be to forget everything else; anyone else.
As someone who had already experienced it once, I was far better prepared to deal with it and see it for what it truly was; an unwilling decision decreed by a deity that, according to Selene herself, wasn’t able to be changed. However, I couldn’t say the same for how Bash would react. The first time would be… intense.
A thought came to me then… something whispering a reminder I’d forgotten. Bash didn’t have a mate, Luna, or child prior to his death. Based on my last vision, he was about 21 years old at the time.
Three years from now.
This meant I had at least three years to confidently be with Bash before the risk of him finding his destined mate became higher. A risk I’d have to be willing to accept and step back from, no matter how much it might hurt me.
Was he worth that gamble?
“Winona?” Bash asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
He gently reached out and poked a finger between my brows, making me realise I was frowning.
“You’ve got that look on your face,” he said. “The one that usually tells me you’re overthinking something… Should I be locking the bedroom door to prevent your escape?”
Instantly I relaxed, smiling a bit at his joke. I hadn’t realised he’d learnt my expressions so well.
“I’m sorry,” I said, as I stared into his pure golden eyes that had always made me want to melt. “…I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I… I want to be with you too, Bash.”
‘Even if it’s just temporary,’ I finished in my head.
Bash had been there at the beginning of my return, witnessing my worst moments and helping me even when my plans were insane or not his concern. He’d been there for me when I’d cried and broken down, unsure of who I was or who ! could lean on. And it was true he’d ended up hurting me, but I’d hurt him too. Yet somehow, he’d realised sooner than me that we were undeniably drawn to each other. It was just me who refused to acknowledge it.
Being with him was probably still a terrible idea, I knew that, but even if it was temporary, wasn’t it better than nothing? Being around him made me feel safe, comfortable, and… wanted. Things I’d never felt in my past. Was it so wrong of me to desire that for myself, even if it could end disastrously?
He didn’t waste any more time though as his lips were then on me again, and goddamn did he know how to kiss. I felt like I was going to burn everywhere he touched me; along my
thighs, around my waist, up my back. He’d managed to unzip my dress already and so it was then just a matter of sliding my arms out as he pulled it up over my head. And suddenly I was before him in only my underwear… feeling so vulnerable that I couldn’t help but look away, embarrassed.
He must have guessed my thoughts exactly though as he grabbed at my arms before I could completely cover my torso with them.
“Hey, don’t do that,” he said gently. “You’re so beautiful.”
Had anyone ever called me that before? I couldn’t ever recall. I knew I wasn’t unattractive but I’d never seen myself as anything overly special. How could I given my history? I’d tried to make myself prettier in the past to impress Benjamin and it had only made me look unhealthy with a sickly thin figure and dark circles under my eyes.
He planted a small kiss on my wrist and delicately made his way up along my arm, making a trail of pecks as he went. And when he finally reached my shoulder, I shivered under his touch. Everything he did was driving me crazy, especially as he then began lightly tracing the outlines of my body; starting with my chest, around my bra, and moving lower to around my stomach, dangerously close to the hem of my underwear. All the while leaving a path of goosebumps wherever his fingers touched.
He stared down at me while he teased me, looking just about ready to devour me at any second, but instead he restrained himself, wanting to make the moment last as long as he could. I could barely take it any longer though as a little whimper escaped me involuntarily.
I sat up impatiently so our eyes were level and kissed him deeply, grabbing the hem of his shirt in one hand. However, instead of letting me lift it off, he clasped my wrist gently and kissed it, leading me to lie back down again. I would have found it odd but my mind became quickly occupied again.
“Have you ever done this before?” he suddenly asked.
“Not in this life,” I answered before I paused in thought, considering his question further. “…And never with someone who cared about me.”
He kissed me passionately, as if he knew exactly what I was saying and was trying to make up for my past. Already I had felt more in these last few minutes than any prior experience and I didn’t want to stop.
He gripped my arm above my head whilst his other hand started to venture lower… and lower… and lower… until I gasped out, squirming under him.
