Chapter 56
I had been looking for Isabella for two years.
Somehow, it felt as if she just fell from the sky. After all, the girl was totally hard to find throughout this entire time.
What about the nagging I had been feeling inside of my head? It seemed that I was supposed to meet her months ago. Before Benjamin’s coming of age, he had introduced us first. So, they were supposed to be already dating at this point.
Not only that, I also remembered that she wasn’t permitted to come to tonight’s event. I couldn’t really remember the reason why, to be frank. However, that girl hadn’t shown herself even once for the entire time I came back.
As far as I knew, she hadn’t even shown herself to Benjamin yet. Yet, here she was. This time, she was staring right up at me. As if she knew who I actually was.
Immediately, my body became very tense. It was because I realized that Isabella had definitely found out that I had hired someone to track her down. That would answer the reason the girl was able to avoid being found out by me for this entire time.
Well, I had already known that she already started to plan my death, possibly years before it actually happened. From the start, her whole cute and innocent persona was always a charade. Still, I was too blinded because of my jealousy towards her. Nevertheless, I knew that she really had that slick in her to be that smart. After all, she could tell that I was
actually trying to track her down.
However, why would that make Isabella stop from meeting Benjamin? Except myself, there wasn’t anyone who knew that I wanted to find her. Did she stop because both Benjamin and I were closer this time? Did the girl feel threatened because of how close Benjamin and I were?
When I looked at her, I could feel that my heart was racing. None of us made a move. Both of us were just standing frozen in place as we maintained our gazes deliberately. The tension between us was very strong. While Benjamin might be the one to swing the sword to break my soul so badly that it couldn’t heal anymore, my journey to my death had been ignited because of Isabella at the end of the day. It was because she really craved Benjamin for herself. She really wanted herself to be the Luna.
To my surprise, that girl was the first one to break our eye contacts. After that, she turned around as she began walking towards the exit. She smartly mixed with the crowd below.
Since this was the only chance I had to catch her, there was no way I would let go of this opportunity. I had to follow her closely. Then, I might be able to know where she had been living.
Immediately, I began kicking my heels off while I couldn’t help but curse the footwear I had chosen. After that, I quickly ran downstairs through this dense crowd until I stood below the balcony, which was the place I had first seen her. As I ran past people, I also looked at their faces to see whether they had any similarity to Isabella or not. However, none of them was her. Isabella was already gone.
I didn’t really see her anywhere. Added without any good sense of smell, I was unable to track her down as well. Isabella was able to avoid meeting me. By the time I came downstairs, that girl might even have already left the party. Besides, there were way too many people here that helped in slowing me down even though I really tried to catch her up as fast as I could.
“Damn it!” I shouted as I punched a tree next to me because of the frustration.
I was really close to her before. Isabella had really come here. Could I really just let her go as I saw where she was before I ran downstairs before? Could I really yell at her?
Besides, what would I even say to her? Would I say ‘Hey, I think you murdered me in my past life. So, stay there while I’m asking you some questions just in case you’re trying to do that again?’?
Eventually, I ended up waiting below that balcony for about an hour. I still looked at the crowd to see any signs of that girl. However, Isabella had never come back. The more time had passed, the more pissed off I was to myself. What had happened tonight was truly a disaster. Yet, I stupidly let myself be focused on the wrong things.
When I finally accepted that Isabella wasn’t coming back to this event, I went back to my home. Nevertheless, I was still in a huge shock because of our encounter. If I went back to that event, I also knew that there wouldn’t be something good that would wait for me. It was very clear that it would be better for me to choose to miss the rest of this event. Still, I could feel my whole body shaking hard as I went back to my home.
But I didn’t feel afraid like when I saw Benjamin for the very first time. Instead of feeling like I wanted to break down or cry or even want to run away, this time was different.
No. This time? I was genuinely mad.
The next day, I tried to brush off everything that happened by going to the gym before I worked. That place was a public gym which had private rooms on the second floor. The ranked members could use these rooms. I would usually have a room booked permanently for every day just in case I needed it, which normally would be the case every time I had free time.
I was very thankful for this room because a public area like
sa this gym was usually full of people. It wasn’t like it was a major issue. However, just getting those constant gazes and murmurs from other people had always been making my workout routine at the gym feel pretty unpleasant.
Yet, there was a sudden voice that came from the door, “Knock! Knock!”
For the past 30 minutes, I had spent it on throwing a punch on a punching bag. As I punched the punching bag, I thought of two people alternately between both of them. One of those two people was the very person who was now standing in front of the door.
“Bash,” I greeted the boy as I was throwing another punch to the punching bag, but I punched it with an unrestrained force.
I did that just in case Bash didn’t catch the hint from my voice tone. After that, I continued my training. Nevertheless, his decision to not respond to me was making me uncomfortable.
“What do you want?” I finally asked him after he kept quiet,
Then, I straightened up my posture to see that boy as I wiped at the sweat from my forehead. I was truly running out of breath. When I turned to him, the only thing he could say was, “Well …. ”
As if Bash tried to remember the reason he was here, he just
shook his head.
“Well. I truly hoped that we could talk about yesterday night.”
“Why the hell …, ” I told him between my breaths, “…do you think that I really want to talk to you?”
“It’s because I’ve brought you a gift,” he answered my question by showing his stupid yet charismatic smile as he seemed to hold a plastic bag with something inside.
It made me look at it suspiciously.
“Oh, please, Winona. Can you just give me some time, pretty please?”
Even though I was annoyed, I just exhaled as I responded to him, “Okay.”
Since I had left my clothes and towel close to the door, I walked over to get them as I started to throw them on over my work out clothes.
“Well, for the record …, ” I told him as I took the plastic bag away from his hand after I had changed my clothes to new
ones.
“This is the ugliest gift wrapping I have ever received.”
The body just laughed as he said, “Sorry about that. This gift is a last-minute one.”
After that, I threw my backpack and towel over my shoulder as I went past him to exit that room. Then, I walked across the road to a place where there was a small park. I did all of that without even looking back once. At that park, there was a large tree that was pretty further in, mostly isolated from other trees. I sat myself down there under that tree’s shadow while I was waiting for Bash to sit on the grass next to me.
“So, what could you have given to me in order to possibly make up for that shitty move you pulled on me last night?”
“Yeah, I asked Ava about your favorite things recently. So, she gave me this suggestion.”
Soon enough, I got a styrofoam box from that bag given by Bash. When I touched it, it felt warm. So, inside of this box definitely had that one thing Ava knew I totally couldn’t resist. Those were nuggets and fries.
“You’re bringing junk food for me to the gym?” I couldn’t help but ask him.
“Did you tell me that you don’t want them?”
As Bash looked at me, the boy slightly tilted his head. It was almost like he definitely knew what my response would be. I couldn’t help but sigh. It didn’t mean that I had to take my anger out on the food just because I was pissed with him. Eventually, I began savoring that junk food. Surprisingly, the taste even felt the same like the ones from the cottage cafe. Either he found a place just like the cottage cafe or her really did extra by getting it from the cottage cafe itself.
“Also, is that necklace the one that Ava gave to you?” he asked me again as he saw me savoring the junk food for a while.
His question made me look down as I saw that I had worn the necklace with the rest of my clothes like it was a normal thing. To be exact, it was more of a habit for me to wear that necklace now. So, I didn’t even realize it.
“Yeah,” I replied to him.
Was this actually his effort to try to get me to remember our good past?
“So, will you say sorry to me then?” I asked him back, got past the small chattery before he was able to make me forget the reason why I was pissed.
“I’m thinking that’s the reason you’re here. After all, you’ve already come all the way here. You even seek me with a peace offering.”
“That depends,” he responded as he laid flat on his back on the grass, then he put his arms back to support his head.
This time, the sun shone through the trees. It created a shadow on his face. Somehow, I couldn’t help but think that a little sunray made his eyes become even brighter. However, I was more enchanted about how the shadows moved every time the wind blew a little bit.
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“On what?” I questioned him back as I was trying to refocus on the issue we both had.
After that, Bash just closed his eyes. His facial expression visibly became very comfortable as he replied, “On whether
you’re going to hear me out today or not.”
Immediately, I felt guilt for a mere second when I noticed that it wasn’t wrong that I kept cutting him off last night. The boy might really have something valid to explain, right? Yet, it turned out to be a short-lived feeling when I reminded myself about the reason I was initially pissed at him. In fact, it would be another reminder that Bash always had it in with him. His presence always caused me to want to give in to him, then I would forgive him even though I really didn’t want to. This boy was idiotically charismatic as he beamed with energy that made me want to stay with him.
“What if you apologize to me first, then I’ll decide whether I would hear your opinion or not?” I made a suggestion to him, but I also became more suspicious about my determination the more both Bash and I spoke.
Meanwhile, the boy just smiled when he heard my proposal before he decided to accept it.
“Fine, fine. I’m so sorry, Winona,” he began.
“I’m so sorry for telling you that I actually had a crush on you.”
While it wasn’t the exact same word I really wanted to hear, the point was pretty much the same to me. I was about to accept his apology by opening my mouth, but he kept speaking before I could even speak.
“I’m so sorry for telling you that I actually had a crush on you when I thought you would reciprocate my feelings.”
Out of nowhere, Bash suddenly opened his eyes to meet my eyes directly. It made me freeze on the spot.
“I’m so sorry for not keeping my own feelings to myself or at least wait for me to tell you, so I won’t upset you.”
I really felt that my heart beat very quickly. Was this his attempt to try to play any cruel jokes on me?
“What are you…,” I started, but I couldn’t even find anything
to describe what I really wanted to say to him.
“Why did you do this to me? Is sleeping with me really that matters to you?”
Soon enough, Bash pushed himself up to his side as he put his arms to support himself up.
“Do you really think that’s what I want to do to you?”
“I don’t get it. Why not? What you’re saying is insane. To me, it feels like that you don’t actually change for the better.”
“How would you even know about that, Winona?” the boy asked me as he felt annoyed.
“I stopped all that bullshit when I realized how I actually felt for you. As soon as I left the Lock Heart Pack, it didn’t take long for me to realize that nothing ever felt the same. Sure, I’ m still playing with girls. But that’s only for … fucking. Eventually, that didn’t feel enough for me. So, I completely. stopped that.”
“So, why are you waiting this long to tell me?”
“That’s because I’ve been spending the last six months trying to find my mate,” he answered my question, but he still
sounded pissed.
“I,thought that I wouldn’t have to be scared about my feelings
for you again if I found my mate. However, I didn’t find my mate, Winona. Instead, the first glimpse of you that I had after 2 years was seeing you dancing with another man. That was when I realized it didn’t even matter if I didn’t find my mate… because I just craved for you.”
What he said made me stare at him. I was overtaken by his true feelings. Not only that, a part of me even almost trusted what he said for a mere second. Still, it didn’t last long
enough. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting as I tried my best to suppress my laughter.
“Winona! What the fuck?” he asked loudly, but he sounded hurt this time.
Still, I stood up as I grabbed my bag to search for something.
“I really need to go to work right now, but here,” I told him as I gave him a handkerchief.
“I borrowed this handkerchief from a girl whom I met last night. I’m sure you were what she said as her ‘sexy date’ for the night? Both of you looked very close.”
While Bash looked surprised yet confused, he still took that handkerchief from my hand to take a look at it.
“Try way harder for the next time, Bash,” I told him as I kept putting on a smile.
“Oh! Also, please return that to the girl for me.”
After that, I began walking to my car. I was so grateful that I was able to get my driver’s license, so I didn’t have to get stuck waiting around for a taxi or a driver any longer.
“Winona, please wait!” Bash shouted after me.
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Still, I refused to stop. I didn’t even stop the moment my forced smile quickly disappeared. Not only that, I also didn’t stop when I threw my bag into the back seat as I turned the car on. Most importantly, I didn’t stop as I could feel my eyes started to let out my tears as I drove my car off.
