Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder by Alice Knightsky
Chapter 59 Shut the F*ck Up, Madalynn!
**Ethan’s POV**
I had two hours before I met with Talon later tonight. Walking into the bedroom I sank down on the bed, falling backward and staring up at the ceiling, willing my mind to go blank.
During the day, it was easy enough. There was plenty to do, especially with the conflicts heating up along the border. I could focus my rage on the enemy.
But now…
It had been more than three days. Despite all of my men’s efforts, we had found no trace of Rosalie’s body, not even a scrap of fabric.
The river rushed through the rocks there, and the cliffs were jagged and full of crags. There were a thousand places for evidence to hide.
The sun was setting and it was getting dark, but I didn’t bother to turn on the light.
All of a sudden, I seemed to hear a sound from the living area. I got up to check it out, but froze as soon as I entered the room.
In the dark sat a figure that I thought I would never see again. Someone I could not help but recognize instantly, no matter where, no matter when.
Her sweet scent surrounded me, and she was looking out at the window.
I felt as if my heart had stopped beating. Before I knew it, I was standing behind her. “Rosalie?” I whispered hoarsely. “You… you’re back!”
My heart swelled with overwhelming joy and relief as I reached for her hand. But there was nothing for me to grab.
“Ethan…”
She turned around to face me. Her voice was sweet and gentle as usual, but her face was as pale as paper. “I’m here to say goodbye…”
“What do you mean?” I started to panic, my heart pounding in my ears. “No, not again! Rosalie, come back!”
Suddenly, I couldn’t see her. A roar ripped its way out of my chest. “NO-”
I snapped awake, panting heavily.
D*mn it!! How had I fallen asleep?! My heart was still racing, and I closed my eyes, trying to slow it down.
At that moment, I felt something.
It was like a pull, a very gentle pull… like a thin thread tugging on me from a great distance, willing me to go in that direction, and telling me that I was needed far, far away.
I felt like, at the end of that thread, I would find someone that I had never met before- someone I was meant to meet. It was such a strange thought, a mysterious sensation. But I didn’t spend a lot of time pondering it.
What was there to think about, anyway? I wasn’t going to allow my stupid brain to sneak in another nightmare for me.
I made my way to the shower. The ice cold water beat down on my skin and immediately cleared my mind. That was exactly what I needed to start my evening.
Stepping out of the shower, I was ready to concentrate on my work- when I realized all at once that my bedroom wasn’t empty.
Someone was sitting on my bed.
My heart started racing again, even though I knew it was impossible, but what if…she was back? My finger hovered over the light switch. I had to control it from trembling.
The lamp next to the bed was turned on.
It was… Madalynn. She was sitting there, wearing a pink robe and a pouty expression on her face. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Yet, here she was… and it was no mystery what she was doing here or what she wanted.
I was infuriated, but I was also way too tired to deal with her tonight.
“Madalynn, what the h*ll are you doing?”
In a husky, seductive voice, she said, “Waiting for you.”
“Who gave you permission to come into my room?” I replied coldly.
“I’ve been so worried about you, dear. You haven’t been eating. You hardly sleep. You keep going over to the cliff. Why don’t you come here and let me take care of you?” She crooked her finger at me and licked her lips, batting her eyelids.
“Madalynn, this is my room! DO NOT ever come in here again without my permission!” I tried to press down my anger, but she was pushing her limits.
She took her robe off and set it beside her on the bed, revealing a matching, tiny pink nightgown. “Please, Ethan. Let me show you how much I care about you. Let me hold you. Let me… love you.” In about four long strides, I crossed the room and picked up her robe that I saw on the end of the bed.
I tossed it at her, covering up her body. “Put that on, and go to your own room.”
The noise that Madalynn made was a bit like a dying goose.
“What?” she asked. “But Ethan! You’re my fiancé! You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Why won’t you let me help relieve some of that stress?”
I gritted my teeth, my hands at my sides. “Go to your own room. Now.”
Grumbling, she pushed her arms into the silk pink robe and tied it at her waist. “Everyone has been so worried about you, Ethan. Everyone! You need to… process this. You need to at least acknowledge it.”
“What I do and do not do is none of your concern, Madalynn!”
What I needed at the moment was for her to get her f*uc*king a*s*s out of my room before I did something I’d regret. She stood and walked toward me, her eyes flaming.
“I will never understand you, Ethan! Look at me!” She spread her arms wide, as if putting her body on display again, although this time it was mostly covered by the robe. “I am a beautiful woman, and one of noble birth. I have perfect genes, high standing, and am more than acceptable to a man of your cla*s*s!”
I knew what she was getting at, and I didn’t want to hear it. “Watch yourself, Madalynn.”
But she pressed on. “Any child you bear from me will be intelligent, well-bred, and gifted in any number of ways. You will never have to wonder whether or not there will be some sort of… defect in a child of mine.”
She was insulting my deceased child, and it lit a flame deep within me.
“Shut your mouth, Madalynn!” I ordered in a strained voice, every muscle in my body tense and coiled, ready to strike.
“But with her- that d’mn breeder-who knows what you would get? After all, you don’t really know her lineage, do you, Ethan? What if she comes from street rats? Chattel? Prostitutes? Who the h*ll knows? They could all be illiterate, backwoods, inbred—”
“Madalynn!”
I lifted my hand to strike her, but stopped. I would have to deal with James or Romero if I hit her and I had zero interest in that. But if she didn’t stop, I was afraid I would lose control of myself.
“That’s enough,” I hissed in a low, pained voice. “Do you understand who you’re talking about?”
“Of course, I do! I am talking about your dead breeder, Ethan! I’m talking about that woman that you chose over me! I am trying to understand why in the world you would rather be with her than with me!”
She pointed at herself, jabbing herself in the chest with her fingers so hard, I thought it might leave a bruise.
“Please, explain to me how the h*ll you could possibly prefer her company to mine!”
I couldn’t- I couldn’t explain it to her.
Not because there weren’t a million reasons why I would rather be with Rosalie than with Madalynn. No, that would be the easy part. But standing there and listing off all of the reasons why I would rather be with Rosalie would mean listing all of the reasons why I missed her.
And I wouldn’t allow myself to do that.
I couldn’t allow myself to do it.
“What is it, Ethan?” she shouted at me, tears stinging her eyes now. “You won’t do it, will you? You won’t talk about her because you’re afraid if you do, then you’ll have to acknowledge that you have feelings, like every other human being that walks the earth.”
“Knock it off, Madalynn,” I turned around. I could hear my knuckles cracking as my fists clenched.
I couldn’t even stand to look at her anymore. I wanted to grab the collar of her robe and haul her out of the room.
Using the mind-link to call the guards to have her removed before I hurt her was a viable option, one I probably should’ve used from the get-go.
“Fine, Ethan. Keep pretending. Keep burying it all deep down inside! And the rest of us will keep walking on tip-toe around you, pretending like we don’t notice what a f*cking mess you are!”
“Shut up, Madalynn!” I spun around to face her. “Shut your f*uc*king mouth!”
“And then, one day, when you need me- when you realize your precious Rosalie is gone, and that if you really want to have an heir, you’re going to need me to spread my legs-! You’re going to have to come back to me, begging and pleading- and hoping that I have forgiven you for falling in love with that f*uc*king breeder when you were supposed to be in love with me!”
“GET OUT, Madalynn! GET OUT NOW!”
“I’ll leave when you admit that you’re willing to accept that stupid f*uc*king breeder Rosalie is dead!” she shouted. I grabbed her by her arms, shaking her, one hand sliding up to squeeze herthroat.
“Never, ever say her name again. Do you hear me?” My growl was more animal than human. “I never want to hear her name come out of your f*uc*king mouth again!”
Her face turned red and then pale. Realizing I was hurting her, I let go of her, tossing her aside.
“GET THE F*CKOUT!”
With her hands on her upper arms, she panted heavily. Then she rushed out of my room, murmuring under her breath about what a b’stard I was.
Maybe she was right. Maybe I was a b*stard.
With her gone, I sank down on the edge of my bed, the scent of Madalynn’s floral perfume forming a cloud around me. It stung my nose and made it hard for me to breathe. I didn’t want to smell it, but there was no place to go to avoid it.
I wanted to smell Rosalie’s soft, sweet scent instead. But the longer she was gone, the more it faded from the room.
And the harder it became to remember what it was like to feel her.
To hear her voice as she sang, the melody filling the room like a beam of light that cleared the darkness. With each passing day, it was a little harder to remember her beautiful, angelic face, the sound of her laughter, the way she made me feel like I was not a monster— or that I could choose not to be if I tried.
Madalynn was right about one thing. I hadn’t let myself think about how I felt about Rosalie. And I wasn’t about to start doing that now.
Pushing everything out of my mind— including the fight I’d just had with Madalynn— I headed into the bathroom to wash my face. I would rinse it all down the drain. Then, I’d go to bed like Talon suggested. I’d go to sleep for a couple hours, think about none of it, and in the morning, I’d wake up and completely focus on the war efforts.
Because it was much easier to be the b*stard who waged war on the enemy than it was to be the b*stard who couldn’t even admit he cared about the person he missed.