He’s My Alpha by Cassandra M (Jake & Clair)
Chapter 43
Jake
Clair ran away after hitting us with her words. Everyone stood frozen in their place for a moment until Jenny moved and ran after her. Aaron followed suit, and I was left alone with my Beta. I was left speechless. Everything she said to Aaron backfired on me.
I did this to her. I made her feel unwanted and not worthy. But if she only knew the struggle within me. I let out a sigh and was about to move my feet to follow after them when I felt my Beta’s hand on my shoulder. I tilted my head to look at him as he shook his head.
“Don’t. It’s better if you talk with her when you are both in the right frame of mind. Nothing will help right now, especially if her brother is around.” He said in a low but firm voice.
I swung my coiled fist into the wall beside me in response. I hit it two more times before I rested my forehead on the wall, eyes closed, with my jaw tightening and not bothering at all that my knuckles were bleeding and that there was a big hole in the wall right now.
Echo kept growling in my head, and I couldn’t blame him, I hated myself more than he did.
“I did this to her. Tell me, Gavin! How did I f*uc*king deserve this female? All I do is hurt her, destroy her. ” I asked, my voice barely audible. I kept my eyes closed while I tried to keep the tears at bay. My heart ached knowing I kept hurting the only female I ever cared about.
“You’re just confused, Jake. This curse your grandfather kept talking about is clouding your judgment. Let’s be honest, you’re lucky she kept her sanity all this time and is still holding on to you. All she ever did was protect you, man! That’s how f*uc*king strong your mate is! I hope she doesn’t get tired before you can make up your mind. It’s your loss!”
I felt every word he spoke hit me again. I never deserved her, yet I was too selfish to reject her, to let her go. Just the thought of her running off to another man consumes me. I had no idea if I could live with that.
I let out another sigh, deflated, I turned on my heel and walked towards the stairs with hunched shoulders. I didn’t know where my feet would lead me, but I needed to get away from there. The hallway seemed suffocating.
Just as I descended the stairs, my eyes caught David. He was standing below, and it seemed he was already expecting me to walk down any moment. Our eyes met, and I had no idea how I got the courage to look him in the eyes after what I did to his daughter. Maybe it was the Alpha in me, but truth be told, I didn’t feel like an Alpha right now. I felt like crap, wasted and broken.
“Alpha Jacob, do you have a minute to spare? I wish to speak with you.” He asked in a calm voice.
I nodded and motioned for him to follow me into my office. I slipped inside, leaving the door open for him and my Beta. But before my Beta could step inside, David stopped him. “I wish to speak with the Alpha alone if you don’t mind.” He asked respectfully.
My Beta looked at me, and when I told him he could leave, he did so right away, closing the door behind him.
I motioned for David to take a seat, which he ignored and remained rooted in his spot, while I stood by the window, sweeping the ground outside for a glimpse of Clair. I was hoping she was there, but she was nowhere around.
I turned around to face David. He was still standing just a meter away from the door. His face mirrored mine, with no emotions at all. I stayed in silence and waited for him to speak first.
“If my intuition was right, then you already have an idea of why I’m here. But let me get directly to the point. I came here to find answers, answers that I know I will never get from my daughter.” He started in a very calm manner.
With pursed lips and hands in my pocket, I moved to lean my back on the wall beside the window, listening intently.
“You can choose to be honest or lie about it. It’s up to you. Is Clair your fated mate?” He got directly to the point.
When I didn’t answer right away, he took it as his cue to continue to prove his point.
“Clair has the blood of an Alpha, not direct, but it’s a strong one. She’s an Alpha Female. Her heat is more potent than regular she-wolves. She can resist any unmated males during her heat but can never resist her mate.” He continued, only taking a small pause to breathe. “I saw how she clung to you. It was exactly the way her mother held on to me during one of her heat. I knew what I was seeing yesterday.”
I looked him directly in the eyes. There was no point in lying to this man. He knew his daughter well. And he’d seen me grow and could read me like a father to his son.
I slowly nodded my head before tearing my eyes off him. This time I couldn’t hold his stare anymore, knowing I was the one hurting his daughter.
He nodded and kept his jaw from clenching. I could feel he was trying to control himself. His pupils dilated for a moment before he was able to take control of his wolf. In truth, I wasn’t expecting him to be this calm. Or maybe more was yet to come.
“I will not ask you why because I know the answer already. I just want to know when do you plan to reject her?” My eyes snapped back at him. I didn’t understand his question. Would he really be okay with it if I rejected Clair?
“I have to prepare everything.” He continued. “I would request a transfer to a different pack. It will not be healthy for her to stay here after you reject her.”
“Does she know this plan? That you will leave the pack?” I didn’t know where I got the strength to voice my concern. But I could feel panic arising from my body. His plan hurt me more than I could admit. I never imagined that losing her as my mate meant losing her forever, that I would never be able to see her. And my wolf mirrored my pain as he howled in despair inside my head.
“No. But she will understand once the rejection happens. I will always consider you as my son, but I will not stand here and just let you hurt her more. One day, you will come home with a Luna, and I don ’t think it will be easy for her to see that day.” I saw him clench his fists. It must have taken him a great effort to control himself at this point. But to be honest, I was waiting for him to hit me.
I could feel my knees weakening, so I crouched to the floor and placed my hands on my head, elbows resting on my knees.
“I don’t know what I want, David. She… I don’t want to lose her.” My voice croaked upon my admission.
I felt David tense up from his position before he took a seat on the sofa near him, letting out a deep sigh as he hung his head low.
I never felt so weak and lost until today. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”