Pregnant After One Night With The Lycan By Kellie Brown
Chapter 63 Margaret’s Notebook
Tanya’s POV:
I f*orc*e myself to maintain composure despite the pain and anguish that writhe inside of me like a furious monster eating my insides. “Um, thanks. Thank you doctor for letting me know.”
The doctor tries to show some sympathy, but I understand he has other patients and family members to deliver similar bad news to. Plus. I don’t want sympathy. I couldn’t take it, cause if I did, I would’ve crumpled down right then and there.
So, I focus on work, pulling myself together and submerging myself in helping other patients at the hospital. But I’m only further surrounded by more pain and suffering as the patients keep trickling in, some sicker than others.
However, despite the bleakness of the situation, the atmosphere within the hospital remains warm. There was a reason I chose to stay in the Blue Moon Pack. And I can’t help but compare it to the capital and the palace. No matter how beautiful and grandiose the palace appeared, no matter how much wealth was poured into the architecture the luxurious furniture and decorative paintings. No matter how impressive it was. The palace felt immensely cold and unwelcoming, distant and unnerving.
I may have never been born into the Blue Moon Pack, but I was still welcomed here as one of their own. Its people are kind and selfless, and even now, through a difficult situation that is taking lives, they remain somber yet hopeful, doing their best to lift each other’s spirits.
I witness Lisa comforting her father, fixing the blanket so it laid atop him comfortably, and adjusting his pillow, the two of them smiling and laughing as I overhear their conversation.
“Well kiddo, looks like you won’t need to worry about lying anymore,” says the father.
Lisa looks at him, slightly confused. “What you on about?” “Well, now you actually need the money to buy me a tombstone,” he chuckles light-heartedly, and while Lisa is shocked at first, she begins to laugh along to her father’s silly humor. Course eventually, tears spill from her eyes, and Lisa’s laughter turns into sad sobs as she lays down beside her father, holding him in her arms. “You will get better dad. You will,” she says sadly.
I turn away from them not to seem like I’m listening in, but also to shove away the heart-wrenching pain it was causing me. I wish I could talk to Claire. Just one last time…
My eyes turn to the rest of my surroundings to see men and women holding each other close, and the sick children being occupied and distracted by their parents. Due to its poor economy, the Blue Moon pack is also short on medical supplies.
I watch through glossy lenses as residents bring their own medical supplies to donate to the sick. People don’t have much here, and medical tools and equipment as well as the medicines themselves are scarce. And yet people are more than willing to depart with those belongings to benefit the sick children and the elderly.
I even watch Raphael, the notorious b*ull*y, with a sad smile as with a fierce expression he hands his medical materials to the parents of one of the children. He looks to the child as he says. “You use these well, alright kid. They’re expensive stuff. Hard to come by. You use them well,” I sense his harsh demeanor isn’t truly what it seems, he clearly was trying to hide whatever emotion that lay beneath through his strong exterior.
Course it still does the job, the kid in the hospital bed nods curtly, like a young soldier following the orders of a general.
“I don’t need these you see. I’ve used them for so long that now I’m big and strong. See my muscles?”
The little boy’s eyes grow wide, in clear admiration for Raphael’s physic as he continues speaking. “So, you- you better use them, use them properly boy so you can become big and strong. We need more men protecting this pack…”
I desperately try to wipe my tears at the touching moment. Even if Raphael is trying to seem strong, he too was desperate to have these kids feel better soon.
“Right, I have to go continue protecting this pack. I expect to see you out there alongside me soon. Got it boy?” in response to Raphael’s words, the boy puffs his chest in growing pride, now nodding his head fiercely.
And then, the notorious b*ull*y of the pack nods curtly, repeating the same action to the parents who are now crying, before marching out of the room, almost as if he’s rushing to maintain his walls of strength.
Throughout the day, I keep experiencing these brief moments of tenderness between loved ones as I fight off the pain inside me. But eventually, as the night rolls in and I have fewer and fewer patients to attend to, I lose all sense of control over my emotions.
I find a particular room that’s empty. And before I know it, tears are running down my face in continuous streams. My knees buckle beneath me and I collapse to the floor while trying to suppress my sobs.
What hurt the most was feeling so helpless. If the enemy that chose to attack Claire was physical, I could protect her, I could fight off the opponent. I could tell her to run, to hide and escape. I could distract whoever it was that was trying to hurt my little girl, and give her a fighting chance.
But this enemy was internal. There is absolutely nothing I can do but watch as my little Claire slips deeper and deeper into the space between life and death. I would give everything to exchange my life with hers, and I couldn’t even manage that.
I am a hopeless mother.
And my daughter would be lost forever.
It feels like I’ve been sitting for hours within the darkness of my own thoughts, till I feel strong hands pull me to the surface. My vision clears as I turn to see Marco’s arms wrap around my shivering frame, pressing me into his warmth.
“She’s- Claire’s gone- she’s gone,” my voice cracks in admission as I break down into sobs again.
He rocks me in his embrace, trying to soothe me. “No, we will find a solution to this. Claire will be okay. I know it. We will find a way to save her.”
I shake my head, unable to see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. The doctors have all said the same thing. That my little girl isn’t going to make it.
Marco straightens me, holding me back slightly so I’m f*orc*ed to look at him. “You need to be strong Tanya. Be strong for her. You’re a mother,” in gentle movements his hand smooths away the tears that stain my cheeks. “Claire would want you to be strong for her, she wouldn’t want you to give up, now would she?”
I take in a deep breath, trying to clear the fog in my mind as I think for a moment. He is right… despite how much pain I was in, and no matter how helpless I felt, I was still more useless like this. I couldn’t give up hope. That would be an injustice to Claire. I am her mother, and my little girl deserves to be fought for.
That’s when Marco speaks again. “Barlow told me how great you were at making perfumes, and that you can make perfumes with special functions, like curing people from illnesses?”
I understand what he’s trying to say, but I shake my head and explain. “My perfumes have only cured minor sicknesses; the black magic is very severe. I doubt I could make a perfume to combat that.”
“Yes, you can!” it’s Caspian, and he suddenly appears with a sense of zest in his eyes. “Once, one of Lily family’s predecessors traveled to the Blue Moon Pack. She left behind a notebook detailing special perfumes that can cure black magic!”
My eyes grow with anticipation as Caspian continues. “But so many years have passed, and no one has the abilities that you do. So, the book has been lost. But I’m sure it’s somewhere in the library. If we hurry, we can surely find it!”
Without a moment to lose, Marco and I get to our feet. “Take us to the library,” I say to Caspian, a newfound fire brewing within me, as hope grows further in reach.
We rush off, and Dylan eventually joins us at the local library. We all search desperately through the night, each of us in different corners of the building as we scour the books for the one was looking for.
Eventually, it’s the early hours of the morning, and still no luck. And we all begin to wonder if the book wasn’t in the library to begin with. Just then, due to my exhaustion, I bump into a stack of books, toppling one off the top that drops to the ground. I turn round to see Dylan calmly picking it up, about to put it back, when I notice the name on the front.
Margaret
My throat hitches. ‘‘Wait! I know that name,” I eagerly take the book as he passes it to me, and soon Marco and Caspian join us. I remember that the name is of one of the predecessors of Lily’s family, and I remember vividly the perfume exhibition at Eau de Lune Parfumerie company, where many of the special perfumes were created by Margaret.
I open the book and flip through the pages in utter disbelief. It has many handwritten notes on how to make special perfumes that can cure black magic!