Continuation from His Dark Obsession by Moonlight Muse to
His Fated Obsession (Book 2) Chapter 17 A Dreary Night
ZEDKIEL.
This day is one that I will always remember. The threat she held over me she meant it.
It was sickening to watch her take on Evangeline’s coy demeanor, to see her fit in with all her ways, and only when I told Kash what happened did he believe me.
Night has now fallen, and she is asleep by my side. No matter how f*uc*king angry I am, my woman is inside there somewhere.
I regret that the last words we exchanged were ones of anger. Hers hurt like a f*uc*king knife in the chest, but to hold on to my sanity I tell myself that she was not herself when she spoke those words.
My Evangeline knows she means the f*uc*king world to me. No one else matters, only her. I will do anything for her. Anything.
‘But if you weren’t so nice to that woman! Then our mate wouldn’t have been hurt!’ Zerachiel snarls menacingly.
His wrath burns me like poison and guilt rips through me. I know I messed up, I never meant for this to happen. I was just f*uc*king trying to do the right thing.
I sit there, leaning against the headboard as I look at her sleeping form. I feel hollow… there’s a gaping hole inside of me that needs Evangeline back. Her somewhat of a rejection has numbed me but at the same time, I can’t explain the crushing pain that now festers inside of me.
If I can turn back time I’d change that, but I can’t help but let the doubts eat at me. Being alone most of my life has made it hard to feel as if I am good enough… Am I?
What have I really done for her? Nothing.
She didn’t want anything to do with me. How was she able to so easily cast me aside?
‘Stop it! Remember, we are doomed to fail; you must do the right thing…’ Zerachiel growls, cutting me off. How do I fix this?
The anger inside of me is bubbling, rising with each passing moment, and I know it’s not Zerachiel’s but mine. It’s growing and the hatred for the woman that lay there in my woman’s body is only getting stronger.
My heart is thundering, my eyes blazing red as I glare out at the moon. What does it mean to be the goddess?
What power does Evangeline have that she was so easily thrown into the abyss of her mind? Where is the power of the Moon Goddess when we need it?
‘Zerachiel… tell me why does Evangeline have visions of me k*il*ling her… why do I even k*il*l her? Because I can’t see myself ever being able to do that… even if it’s Evelyn in her body. I can’t hurt her.’ I ask him, trying to make sense of it.
I need something or someone to tell me that this isn’t the end, that I’ve not lost her yet. That there is hope.
I can feel that festering rage bleeding through me and slowly cracking the hold I have upon my anger. Anger won’t get me anywhere. I’m trying to f*uc*king keep that in mind.
Zerachiel’s silent before he sighs. “I don’t know all… but you always end up k*il*ling her… perhaps because she is no longer there… but still, she is our mate, they are our mates… you cannot k*il*l them for the sake of others.” His voice is full of anguish, tied with an excruciating pain that is tearing through my chest to the point I want to rip my own heart out to end this suffering.
I can feel his struggle, and soon the pain subsides.
‘She said that Evangeline was going to sacrifice herself for her…’
His rage flares up as the sting of betrayal twists in my gut. I’m just not enough to keep her… She never wanted this or me…
The darkness seems to be spreading, but I realise that she’s been trying so hard to break this curse… or curses. I need to fight too…
Sighing heavily, I close my eyes, trying to focus on remaining calm. I ma*s*sage my forehead, pondering over what I can do.
‘Mate has given us the answer.’ Zerachiel mutters with obvious irritation.
‘She has… but how do we do what she wants? She wants to f*uc*king go to the realm of gods. How do I go there and what about her? What will happen to her with Evelyn in charge? I don’t think it’s a good idea.’
‘Only she can go to the realm… Not just anyone, let’s see. There must be a way, use your brain.’ Zerachiel replies thoughtfully.
I frown, but I don’t say anything. Right now I’m f*uc*king grateful I at least have him on my side. Someone to help keep my sanity intact. I hope he can genuinely see that I want Evangeline back. Not only want… but need her.
‘I know that, but you are both foolish! Impulsive! Stupid!’ He snarls.
‘I get it! You hate that we mess up, but if you had told me from the start or f*uc*king warned me, things could have been handled better. Don’t you feel that you made matters worse? Instead of guiding me and helping me, all my life you have just shut me out.’ I growl back.
I know we can both play this sh*t blame game, but he’s meant to be a part of me.
There’s silence and I feel a heaviness settle inside, weighing me down.
‘Do you think that only you are bound by these curses?’ I frown slightly.
‘I am bound…. A prisoner who sees your stupidity lifetime and lifetime over.’
I understand that… I can see the effect the curse has been having. When Evangeline had pushed me, when she released that anger, there was fear and surprise in her eyes… almost as if she didn’t mean to do that.
She didn’t. I have to tell myself that repeatedly because I’m about to lose my f*uc*king mind.
I look at the woman who sleeps by my side; her b*reas*ts rising and falling and a part of me wants to hate her entirely, but one thing that Evangeline says sticks in my mind.
She wants to free her…
She too is a victim of the curse… I’ve seen what it can do to a person as pure as Evangeline. ‘Why do you hate her so much?’ I ask Zerachiel.
‘She always ruins everything!’ He thunders.
I frown, ‘Have you ever shown her kindness?’
I can’t believe I’m the one who is saying this, especially when it comes to Evelyn, who has done nothing but ruin everything. She is the damn reason Evangeline isn’t here, but I also know the truth. She’s stuck just like us…
‘I have… there is no hope for the likes of her!’ He spits and I fall silent, staring at her.
‘Then can you k*il*l her?’
He doesn’t reply, and it gives me my answer. No, he can’t and it’s why he hates me, for being able to k*il*l our mate in previous lives.
In her sleep, she looks just like Evangeline… well, not entirely, as Evangeline had the habit of curling into me quickly.
Sighing, I decide to try to get some sleep as much as I don’t want to be in her presence. I also know she’s the only link I have to Evangeline, and for that reason, I have to keep her close. I don’t need her going off the deep end.
I turn my back on her, trying to think of a way to reach Evangeline.
‘Any ideas?’ I ask Zerachiel.He seems to hesitate before speaking.
‘Perhaps the vampires will know a way. There are ancient arts that they excel in.’ Zerachiel mutters unhappily.
I frown. Does that mean I should attempt to visit them?
Earlier, I had seen the books she had left on the stand by the entrance to our quarters. Two were regarding vampires and I know she’s been looking for answers for Kash and with Evelyn here, I had given him the books to check through. But if there’s no answer, for him I will have to go to the vampires too….
I had hoped there was something in there to help him, but he hasn’t said anything yet. I sigh heavily, turning onto my other side, as I look at her.
‘Have you ever marked her? If she’s said to be our mate like Evangeline… would marking her help link us to Evangeline? Perhaps it could even lower her guard enough to reach out to Luna or Evangeline.’”
He seems to be considering what I had just said before he sighs.
‘No, she has no wolf, There is no bond.’ He sneers. ‘How can you think of marking any other than Evangeline?’ I frown. Can I blame her for being bitter?
‘Evangeline is the woman I love, and the only woman that will be mine… but do remember you, we are mated to both. Maybe this is why we are f*uc*king failing.’
If I have to, I will mark her… I just need my Little Mouse back. ‘‘NO!”
‘Calm down, we need Evangeline back and I am willing to do anything to help her!’ I growl.
‘Then let’s go to meet the vampires! We can take her with us. Maybe they will help us!’ I know I’m considering the same, but Evangeline feels I’ll join them…
‘We won’t.’ Zerachiel spits.
He’s just as much part of this curse as I am… Can I really just go on his advice or try to do the right thing, just as Evangeline wanted?
‘But it’s part of the prophecy Zerachiel. We can’t ignore that.’ I murmur.
‘I don’t like it.’ He growls.
I might try to sleep on it… Although there’s not a part of me that wants to sleep, not knowing where she is or how she is…
I’m drifting off into a troubled sleep when I’m snapped awake by someone mind linking me.
‘Zed?’ It’s Kash.
‘Yeah?’ I reply.
‘There isn’t anything in the books regarding a cure, but the third book has a passage which is insinuating destruction…’ He hesitates and trails off.
‘Spit it out!’ I snarl dangerously.
‘Destruction by your hands… I think… and it says something about you k*il*ling the queen…’ He finishes quietly, and I feel as if a cold bucket of ice was thrown over me.
Time is running out, and I have to make up my mind. Sitting up, I stare at the dark bedding, my mind made up.
I will go to the vampires and see if they can offer some help. Zerachiel said they may have a way, then I have to try. I have to search every possible avenue that I can.
I will get you back, Evangeline, one way or another and this time – This time things are going to be different. This curse won’t get the better of us.
I swear it.